I need help!!! My wife and I live in Alaska for the past 5 years and now she wants to leave Alaska and head to the east coast to be closer to her family. I don't want to move. I have a good job, Beatiful house and live in a great neighborhood. And most of all I love it here. Alaska is the type of enviroment that I want to live in. For the first time in my life I found a place that makes me happy. If I move back I will not be happy and our marriage will fail. I don't know what to do. She will not listen. Her family Mom/Dad want her to move back and they always mention it to me. And I know they are putting allot of pressure on her. But she would never tell me that though. Help please

How long have you been married? Is your wife happy in Alaska? Do you have children? Does your wife get along with her family? Do you have any family there? <P>These are all things to consider before anyone can help you make a decision.

I have been married for 5 years now, but have known my W since high school 88'. We have a 7 month old boy. She is real close to her family and she like it her. Her mother is very demanding and has to have it her way!! I don't want to move back in fear of she will move into our lives more. She was scared me for life by making a threat towards me. I forgave her only because I didn't want my Wife to be upset. I give and give all the time. My wife wanted to trade in her engagment ring for a bigger one I let her even though It hurt me. I got over it though. I have gave up the AIr Force A job with the Police Dept., and now she wants me to quiet a verty good State job. How much Do I have to give? I'm not ready to move now. Maybe in a couple of years. She will have it no other way move now!!!. My friends see how she treats me and they have told her she would never find a guy how treats her like I do and will put up with her BS that she does to me. AND my wife Agress with them. They tell me to grow a back bone for once and stand up to her. In the end if i move she wins again. I can't let her get her way all the time.

I'll play Ann Landers for you. If your wife is that controlling and manipulative, then it's time you grow a backbone. No one can take advantage of you without your permission. <BR>Ask yourself the question, "Are you better off with her, or without her?" Realize the answer, then take your own advice. <BR>Sounds to me like you are letting her control you. I would not let her anymore. Tell her that you want to stay in Alaska. If she wants to move, then tell her you'll see her when you take a vacation. <BR>I think she'll stay. She won't find anyone who will treat her as well as you do, and she knows it. She won't give up her cushy lifestyle. She'll stay. And who knows, maybe she'll learn to respect you a little. It sounds like she doesn't respect you at all right now.

Hi there <P>I just wanted to suggest that while you need to read the info regarding the Policy of Joint Agreement...another thing that should really be discussed between the two of you is that you and your child ARE your W's primary family and that her first allegiance is to be to you both. <P>It's hard to move away from everyone, I know, my H, 2 children and I moved (only) 300 miles from our hometown from all our family and friends 3 years ago. It was something we BOTH wanted, but it's still been a big challenge for my H and myself. <P>You need to talk about the reasons why your W wants to move..homesickness and missing her family are normal, but there are other ways to treat those issues, without pulling up stakes and leaving AK. There has to be a COMPROMISE, and at this point, it looks like visiting family a couple times a year should be considered. <P>The two of you are a team and are not to be separated for any length of time by work, or friends or family...all decisions need to be made together for the best interest of your marriage and your family. <P>Your wife may just be going through some emotional stuff that she thinks can be cured by returning home. Does she have friends and things that she's involved with in Alaska? <P>BTW, my H just returned from a fishing vacation to AK and is talking about moving us there in a year or two...Fortunately, I am agreeable to this...because what I've learned is that as long as we're together, that's "home" regardless of what the geography is. <P>God Bless,<BR>Lisa<p>[This message has been edited by BrownEyedGirl (edited August 03, 2001).]

Also is your wife a stay-at-home mom? I think every new mother wants to be close to their mother for support. It's hard for man to understand it. Even if you are the best dad, women get that "I want my security blanket mode." Finding some compromises would help, but you may want to consider finding ways to get her out of the house, and off the phone with you know who. Check out some of the churches in your area to see if they offer a Mother's Day Out Program. Maybe a local recreation center, or YMCA. <P>It's hard for a 1st time Moms to go thru some of the experiences on their own. If you feel your Mother-In-Law would interfer to much, it is understandable why you do not want to move. The other thing is cost. Moving from Alaska to the east coast would not be a cheap move. You might have to research that end of it, and have it down on black and white. Good luck!