I hate infidelity! It happened to me and I'm not standing by watching my own flesh and blood, NO WAY!

My daughter-in-law has been harrassed by OW for eight months. She needs to be safe and so do my grandsons.

This is far from my proudest momment of being my son's mother.

EVERYONE KNOWS and mean EVERYONE! I've always understood when the affair is exposed it begins to die. Not this one, it seems to have added fuel to the fire. I don't get it!

I'm just sick..........please think of my DIL this afternoon.

gayle

please give them your utmost guidance and experience and patience, you have alot, and I am confident that you can lead them in the right direction. . .

tom

Hi Gayle,

It's a terrible thing to be betrayed, but to have the OW harass you in addition to the betrayal can take it's toll on your sanity. BTDT

I'm sorry this is happening to her. You're heading in the right direction by involving law enforcement. I would suggest an AHO instead of an Order for Protection though. It saved my life and sanity, and yields more severe consequences if violated (incarceration and a monetary fine).

Please let us know how things go. Thank God you're there for her.

Best,
Jo

<small>[ August 13, 2003, 11:52 AM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Thanks Tom, I appreciate the encouraging words!

My DIL has 5 months of counseling under her belt. When this all first came down she went to her doctor immediately and got anti d's, which has really helped she said. She just started reading SAA and told me when she read the first 10 pages she said to herself "OMG this is my life". I have HNHN and Lovebusters on hand for her.

They have both been checked for STD's. As of late my son was having thoughts of suicide. Got him to the doctor, he put him on medicine. We convinced him into attending 5 day a week outpatient therapy.

Right before this I DEMANDED they both go and seek some order of harassment/protection legally. They did, together. They had a harassment form filled out and the clerk told them they needed a PO. Four days later my son goes on his own and drops the PO saying "his family pressured him into getting it".

My DIL kept her PO and the OW fought it, that brings us to yesterday.

Jo.....

I saw your post read it to my DIL. We went to court and the PO was dismissed, no hearing. Her lawyer had copies of all that was filed in her hands for THREE WEEKS, then turns to my DIL and chastized her for needing a AHO not a PO because she hadn't been physically threatened, she was being harassed.

GET THIS, they had the OW "give her word" to the OW's attorney in front of my DIL that she would not contact my DIL. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????? How the h@ll do you give your word when you have been involved in adultry with someone elses husband?

I of course challenge my DIL's attorney's thinking four different times, stopping each time on the way out of the court house. My DIL's attorney couldn't get me out of the court house fast enough after I speak of infidelity. "Infidelity has nothing to do with it" she fires back at me. I was STEAMED! Legally yes, morally no!!?!?!?

Oh well, the entire court house heard me!

They need to bring back being able to file "alienation of affection" charges, there would be less divorce cases and more people going to jail and paying fines! That number would dwindle too after time.

We've got a psyhco on our hands folks. I read a 2-1/2 page letter the OW wrote to my son, it truly makes me ill! She is h@ll bent on having him!

NOT ON MY WATCH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

<small>[ August 14, 2003, 02:04 PM: Message edited by: Ragamuffin ]</small>

I'm sorry to hear this, Gayle. The court system can be aggrevating.

For me, I didn't want to do anything, but my therapist insisted after I played the ans machine tapes to her of the OW. This wasn't the first nor the last time OW harassed me. I then went to see the local Sheriff, he listened to the stuff and because I was in cancer treatments at the time and because OW was using my illness in her harassment messages (called me a cancerous C-word) he told me he could go talk to her but strongly advised me to file a AHO. Said she stepped way over the line and one was warranted. In the messages she also said that my H had asked her to stop, but she said she wasn't going to. Not a very smart OW, huh. lol

So, what I'm getting at is she demonstrated a harassment pattern even after being warned several times and there was hard evidence that she did not intend to stop. I think that's why it was a slam/dunk once we went to court. I think I only had to say all of 5 words when we went.

All I can tell you is to log EVERTHING, all contact from OW. You need to prove a "pattern" of harassment in order to file an AHO.

Good luck, Hon.

Lv,
Jo

Jo, you know of what you speak, dear lady!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> (called me a cancerous C-word) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How hurtful can a person get? What am I thinking, she isn't a person she is a MONSTER!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">log EVERTHING </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is what we were told yesterday and my DIL has done a great job of documenting throughout this nightmare! My DIL just called and I read her your last post to me....our hearts go out to you and what you have endured!

If the fog would only break....I raised my son in rural America, 4-H, cub scouts, U.S. Army, United Nations Peace Keeper, married and father of 2 precious boys and he just can't SEE how wonderful his life is and can be again!

OW have a powerful influence......I have found out a fear of hers, loosing custody of her son. She never married and the bio-dads folks have the big bucks. We are now on that trail. They all need to know too!

Thanks Jo, you are one heck of a woman!

Keep standing for your DIL.

My former MIL we found out was also a victim of adultery. FIL was having an affair a little over 2 years ago under her nose. They worked through it yet didn't stand by my side when her son abandoned us financially and threw us out of our own home.

They never even called me to see if I could afford a gallon of milk and brought OW's child into the school and church for the Easter Egg Hunt. Talk about feeling betrayed...

Stand by her and fight with her. Thanks for being good to your family and doing what's right..Not what's comfortable.

Hi JP!

You won't catch me abandoning my DIL and GS's, no way! Thank goodness they only live 4 blocks from us. They need all the love, compassion and understanding we can give them.

I know exactly what my DIL is going through. Blood is NOT thicker than water! Often families say they don't want to get involved or take a stand against "their own".

That is what the OW's mother told me, "she didn't want to get involved". HUH? She is involved. She financially supports her daughter 100% and watches her child while she is with a married man. That is VERY involved.

The mother of the OW told the OW "you better hold on to him (my son) that's the best you are ever going to get. HUH AGAIN? He is married with children!!!!

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.

I am plan B'ing my own flesh and blood. He has given me no other choice.