Been separated 2.7 years and should have been D last year.
W has now gone on 2nd European holiday with OM, his 6 year old daughter and mother plus friends of his and their kids.
I have not seen the W for 8 months but the last time i chatted too her was a week ago on the phone telling me she has signed the papers and sent them off. Well she stalled before and i don't know why. We still talk as if we were still a couple. I mean i joke around and make her laugh but she tells she will never come back.

But WS tell me this.

W has said many times shes "angry" and "hurting".

After all this time, can it be that this is clouding her true feelings for me?
That her feelings are buried really deep. The more they loved you the longer the anger and hurt goes on. So this anger and hurt is supressing her love for me and so temporarily is being comforted by OM?
She now lives with OM but what she told me last year I am surprised they are together.
OM is kind and gentle and has offered her the world.
W parents and grandmother think she is feeling sorry for him hence this situation between them.

I am getting on with my life. But its only because what W told me last year that they had no connection, chalk and cheese etc.
She feels "safe" with him, he won't ever hurt her.

How long can somebody have a wall up?

I need to know if their is any WAW who fell into another mans arms for the same reasons.
You were angry and hurting so bad that anything your Spouse did to win you back etc etc you had this wall up.
When does the anger and hurt go? When the clouds clear and you aren't angry and hurting anymore do you see the OM as the furture or just a comfort zone for then allow you to go it alone.

Or maybe 'cos you aren't angry and hurting anymore you finally see your spouse in another light, you still feel and love him.
The wall has fallen down.

Can going to the OM be a sub conscious move to get back at your spouse you have left? That you want to hurt them as they have hurt you?

Please give me your thoughts.