My wife moved out of our house on Friday 13th. Its been almost two weeks now and I'm not sure if she will ever come back. We have an age diff of 14yrs. She was 19 when we married. <BR>We still talk almost daily. We went to our first counceling session this week. She comes by the house about every 2-3 days.<BR>I love her with all my heart and I just dont understand. I feel I have been good to her over the last 3 years of our marriage. She finished college, never really had to work. I tried to not get in the way of her enjoying her college experience, because I didnt want her to have any regrets. Now she is graduated and looking to begin her career. She now is having second thoughts about us. Says she is going in a different direction. Dosent feel the Spark anymore.<BR>She is starting to call the place where she is staying home..and that really scares me.<BR>The stange thing is that she dosent seem ready to walk away from us. I dont know if she is just haning on until she gets a job and can be on her own or what? I miss her so much and its hard to see her take a little more of her stuff away each time she comes over.<BR>Does anyone have any suggestions? or encouragement?

Put Plan A into action right now. Let her know by your actions why she married you. It is not easy but hang in there. We all are here for you.<P>Good luck and keep us posted.

Rex,<P>Glad we met! <P>My W was 19 when we married too - and I'm even older than you! (I'm 21 years older than she). So, that is an issue with us too. She moved out two months ago. We have a 8 month old daughter. W hasn't finished her college.<P>I think there is a natural itch to go through independence. You probably have been taking care of her - not relating to her as a peer - but more like a parent. I recommend (to almost everybody ) Dobson's book "Love must be tough". If she is not having an affair - some parts of it still apply. She needs to feel free. She sounds a lot like my W. She doesn't know what she wants - wants to keep me "on the hook" while she figures it out.<P>I usually post on Emotional Needs or Divorcing/Divorced forums, but I'll try to check back here.<P>Please read the info on this site - not just the forums and then come back and give us more details of your lives and what is going on. Do you suspect an affair? Do you have any kids?<P>See ya.<P>-AD<BR>

Man, I am right there with you, only my W asked me to move out. Smae thing-no longer in love, no spark. Our reasons may be different, but outcome is the same.<P>Best thing I have done so far is to try and let go, give her space she wants, Plan A when i can (not easy when spearated), and wait. And, i pray for peace to come to us, and for a return of love.<P>Hang in there.

This is the first time I have done anything like this and it was great to have some replies!<BR>In answer to your questions, I dont know that she is having an affair, but I do know she kissed another guy and he spent the night on the "couch" where she is staying. When I asked her where she sleeps, she said on the couch, but they didnt do anything....hmmmm. Am I stupid or should I belive her?<BR>We dont have any kids...thank God!!!<BR>She says she wants space, but when I drove to my parents today for dinner, she called twice, just wanted to check in..uh huh. She just happened to be at our house when she called and wanted to know when I was getting back..she was gone when i returned.<BR>I'm not sure how much my heart and my spirit can take. Some people talk about this going on for months and I dont think I could take it that long. But how long do I give her? All I want to hear from her is that she wants to work and this and give us a chance...<BR>Thanks again for your comments and prayers, keep them comming they really do help!

I am sorry to hear of your pain Rex. It does sound like she<BR>married young and is now seeking independence and experience with other people. The age difference at this stage can be also a major problem. It is more likely that she is probably in an affair with this man. She is married to you and kisses another man and he stays overnight with her and he sleeps on<BR>the couch? This is such a typical statement from a cheating<BR>spouse. You will read about this constantly on these boards.<BR>What do you think your wife would think if you told her you kissed another woman and had her spend the night at your place and she slept on the couch. Nobody will believe this.<BR>It is good that you are in counseling but I get the feeling from your story that your wife is now finding herself after<BR>graduation and wanting to experience life. It really sounds like she feels she married to young.<BR>I hope counseling helps but be prepared that it just may not be the right time for her. Having a male friend who she kisses spending the night over her place is not condusive to a marriage. I wish you luck.