Well, I have tried to discuss our financial problems further with my husband and he really is not interested in any other options besides selling our home and separating.

Several times over the last couple of years I have suggested going to a non-profit service, but he just scoffs at that idea. When I remind him of the times he has practiced "creative finances", for example writing a check that he knows will not clear, he says, "I have had to 'tap-dance' a few times." This is perfectly OK when he makes a mistake with money, but when I juggle bills and keep food on the table, and he can't take $100 or so for his own pocket then I am the bad guy.

We bought this house in March after the sale of our home in southern California. For a month we had to stay in a modest hotel suite until escrow closed. He continued to spend like we had an endless sum of money, and consequently we barely had enough left for our down-payment. We had forgotton to deduct a large payment on a bill, and at that time he was actually involved with our checking account.

Since our move, I have only been able to get a very part-time job which is helping to keep my skills up to date. My husband has always hated the idea of me working, but for economic reasons it is necessary. Now we are really falling behind because of my loss of income. He obviously knows that I will have to get a full-time job when we separate.

I think that the bottom line is that he really doesn't want me anymore. 32 years of my love and care for him and our family doesn't seem to matter to him. He is very depressed (he takes medication for severe PTSD) and seldom goes out, and he will not help me around the property.

I have woken up crying a few nights now, and I am upset and angry, but try not to show it.

Again and again I am putting our problems into God's hands.
<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Ada,

God's hands are the only place you can put these things. As you can see when you try to "fix" the problem, nothing happens. That is because you are trusting yourself to make things happen. All the talking in the world will not change your husband.
God is the only one that can change him. You must put all your trust in God. Lean not on your own understanding.

Remember, Christ is the head of your husband, not you. God put things in this order for a reason. You must go to Christ with anything concerning your husband, He is over him.

You will never convict your husband of any of his bad habits. As you have already learned, trying to convince him has done no good. Trust God to take care of you and WAIT for Him to lead you.

gentle

Thank you for your reply, Gentle, and I want you to know that I always hand everything over to God, especially when I see that I need him to lead and take over my life. The Lord is always with me a strengthening me day and night, and I an very grateful for his comfort.

I daily place my family's health and safety in God's hands, but I know that our problems stem from the misuse of our finances. My husband has added too many credit accounts, and he cannot face the fact that our income cannot support these payments and us too. I feel like we are paying someone's salary with all the interest charges and overdraft fees we pay every month. Of course you are right in saying that my husband doesn't want to hear what my opinion is, even though I wanted us to be equal partners in all decision making. I can only pray that God can make him understand what he should do regarding our marriage.

I know that if we found a church that my husband liked and would attend regularly, then perhaps he would consider tithing, and then possibly financial responsibility would get through to him. Instead, he finds it easier to blame me, and want to leave.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my posts, and God Bless to all on this Forum.

Ada