For those that have no hope in saving their marriage, remember all is NOT lost. When my wife left me I was devastated......contemplated suicide and everything. As time went on and my EX continued in her quest to divorce.....I began to get stronger. Even though I didnt want divorce and wanted to keep my family in tact, I began to realize that my EXs relentless pursuit in our divorce was going to happen. After the divorce I was pretty much back on my feet......it did take a good while to recover, but I now stand tall. I am remarried and happier than I have been in eons!!! So, for those who feel there is no hope after an ended marriage.....hold your heads up.....there is light at the end of the tunnel and all bad things do fade. Im living proof. God Bless and have a great evening!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Starting over, yes SNL (lurking about) and I are divorced. I look at this divorce as a positive step now. No more demeaning of my self-esteem. No more critical remarks about how I didn't do something right. I will say that my x is a good person in some ways. So I have left him, I no longer want him for a husband. In fact, someone yesterday knows we are divorced and said, your husband, I said I am divorced from him, and moving on. She was surprised, cause a while ago, I would of said, many things to show that I was not strong. But now, I admit the marriage failed, and that I am glad the divorce is over.

As far as the future, I really don't know what the future is for the two of us. There is still a lot of anger on his part, he demonstrates it pretty regularly, and if that is what he wants, so be it. He still cusses, and if that is what he wants, so be it. I am moving on, and making my life more simple, and getting on with school. I used to get so upset with his coldness towards me, but not any more. This man is not marriage material to anyone right now. This man gets too ballistic too easily. So until then, he needs to sit down and smell the air that God gave him, and realize that maybe it isn't all the rest of us, that it could be him that is ballistic. Today, once again saw his actions, and just shook my head. A customer was in the house, and he went on and on and on, about why doesn't everyone just do what I say, and on and on. I don't have to take it anymore, and actually, it didn't hurt me. Cause I didn't do anything wrong, I just am conducting my life, and getting on with things. And he yells at the kids, and I am asking the Lord, to calm this man down.

I did talk tonight about seeking a man for the future. A calm man, a man that loves God, a man that loves my children, a man that loves my family, and will accept my mother inlaw too. I ask for a man that will treat me as a equal and love me for me for who I am. My daughter heard, and if it is to be, then I will seek to date. But for now, I am content to be myself, and to downsize, and get things in order. No need to construe anyof the happenings in my life with someone else.

Like you said, hold your heads up high, and the light will come to the end of the tunnel. And good things will appear. I am working with God, and finding my path with God. Just like you did, and you are a happy person, living with a spouse that loves you and God loves you. What more could you ask for, nothing. AMEN

StartinOver---great to hear of your progress. I have heard so many stories lately of people who have found new love and it is GOOD!!! There is hope and even if there is no one special to share life with, I am finding real joys in living my life and watching God bless it. I do not feel alone anymore cause I sense God's prescence in my life more than ever and I have a wonderful little guinea pig who is so cuddly and fun to hang out with. Pets are such interesting little creatures. They can really fill a void and they do show unconditional love.

How did you meet your new spouse?

TW

I know what you mean TossedWave about pets. I too got a Chihuahua after my WS left me and I got a kitten for my son. Not that they take away all the pain, but they sure have given us both a lot of love and in a way something to look forward to coming home to again.

StartinOver, I am very happy for you! And I wish you and your wife many happy years together!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tossedwave:
<strong>
How did you meet your new spouse?

TW</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Its a very long story, but I will try and condense it. My new spouse was a friend of a friend and we met while I was on a date, and my friend brought her along. It took several months before we actually let each other know our feelings towards one another, but it was great it happened that way, because we became good friends before we became a couple. My wife is amazing......she was a single mom and juggled her work schedule, time with her son, working out, and cooking and cleaning. All of these things my EX used to complain about constantly, my wife says nothing a rolls with it.

PS. She told me yesterday that she really felt I was her soul mate. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

double post....oops

<small>[ August 20, 2003, 07:33 AM: Message edited by: StartinOver ]</small>

Startin, IT IS GREAT to hear a real soulmate story for a change. God bless ya

TW

thanks tossedwave, your kind words are appreciated. I just thought there needed to be an encouragement thread for those who are in the dumps about a failed marriage. I truly wanted to keep my marriage in tact, because I have 2 young children. Obviously their mother felt otherwise. Im very happy now though, and my life is very stable. My EX? She is still waiting on OM to propose....they have been seeing each other for at least a year and dude will not commit. Have a blessed day!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">they have been seeing each other for at least a year and dude will not commit. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Go figure!!!! why should he. How can that kind of relationship ever have committment.

TW

I know what you mean Faith. We have not been to D court yet but I am prety sure that she and I are going to butt heads on the custody issue. And If God blesses me with custody she will probably hold me under a microscope just waiting for me to make one little mistake so she can drag me back to court again. I want so much for my children to have a morally sound upbringing and I don't think it will happen with her. I want to get this over with and move on. I don't know what God has instore for my future but I will trust in him and try to follow his will. If some day he brings me and my WS back together or has someone else for me I will cross that bridge when it gets here but for now I do have a life and I have a responsibility to my children to do the best I can to raise them.