Wow---today was an interesting day. Yesterday, a new temp started working in my office. With a little chit chat here and there, we are beginning to get to know each other. She told me where she lived and right away, I knew she was OW's neighbor. I said, "do you know [OW]? she said, "oh yes, do you know [OW]....get out of here. What a small world." The temp preceeded to tell me that she did a terrible thing. She backed out of her driveway and crashed into OW's boyfriend's truck. I said, "oh you did, did you?" So she kept pressing me for how I knew OW so I told her----"Well, ya know her boyfriend, he is my husband" She felt so terrible and I thought she was gonna cry. I probably shouldn't have told her like that but I could feel all the old rage, rejection, jealousy and lies overwhelming me. I wanted to just start crying cause it brought back so much pain.

I was doing so good and really felt like I was in a good place. This really threw me and I keep thinking about it. Then low and behold, WS calls me tonight about a few things. I told him I met the person who crashed into his truck and he quickly changed the subject. Just thought I would let him know I found another lie. (don't know why I did that---what does it matter now?)

This car accident----WS told me that it happened in another town while on a work related job. Egads---I had to deal with another lie after 2 years.

Well---now I have to work with this girl which should be interesting to say the least. OW moved a couple of weeks ago so they are no longer neighbors.

TW

TW
I was going to reply last night, but figured surely someone with wisdom would have responded by now. I doubt I will ever have that problem, as the OW in my life lives pretty far away. (Believe me, I have been very grateful for that small favor.) But I've read others' posts about running into them, or having references made in their presence about the OW in some way. I know that whole discussion with your co-worker was difficult for you (and for her). Remember, she's not part of the problem, though, and probably feels very badly for bringing up something obviously hurtful to you, however unknowingly.

I think your feelings of resentment, anger, etc. are understandable under the circumstances. You are still married, and the betrayals are still pretty "fresh" - you can't just forget EVERYTHING and immediately begin anew after being married so long. Those feelings will probably be under the surface for a while. So no real wisdom with this post, just a heartfelt hug and some empathy.

Avondale---I know you can relate to the undoing of a long-term marriage. I still feel married to my husband and I think, facing another lie was another jolt to my emotions. I wonder if we ever feel differently. Do you feel unmarried or "single"?

I know the temp is not the problem but my first reaction was to take my feelings out on her. I know that would be wrong so I prayed for God to help me deal with the situation the right way. We are fine now and most of the pain is over and done with.

Thanks for the empathy and glad you won't have to have an OW encounter. They stink!!!!!

TW