Ann,<BR>In some ways, my H was a 'mamasboy', too. His mother died 10 years ago as a result of a massive stroke and for the last 7 weeks of her life, he and I were her main caretakers.<P>Believe me, Ann, your H knows what his mother is like and it probably hurts him more than he can say. My H knew, too, how petty and vindictive his mother was, but he promised his dad on his deathbed that he (my H) would 'take care of Mother once dad was gone. <P>All the time she was alive (and after I entered my H's life), I saw a very controlling, whiny and manipulative person who made her son's blood pressure rise with hardly any interaction at all. She was verbally mean to him and favored his older sister who lived 1200 miles away. Yet, my H remained the good son and took care of any problem or need that she had. It continued this way until her death. Of course, darling daughter stayed as far away as she could, only coming up for the funeral, and once she got her inheritance money, that was the last we ever heard from her.<P>All that time, I held a resentment towards my H for the way he presumably felt towards his mother. I could NOT see, for the life of me, how he could continue to expose himself to her bad treatment and keep on going back for more. But, as he told me time and again, he made a promise to his father and he intended to honor it.<P>It took about 7 years after she was gone, but one day, my H opened up to me about his mom. I was shocked to learn that he was VERY bitter about her and her treatment of him! It was almost as if he was coming out of a coma and seeing the truth for what it was at last. It was also obvious to me that no matter what, he still loved her because she was his mother. Wisely, I kept quiet and let him rant--I didn't offer any agreement or add in any observations of my own. It was a catharsis for him and that's what he needed. We BOTH knew how mean she was and I did not rub it in and for that, he was grateful.<P>My advice is, don't let her picture upset you, Ann. Your H has a lot of inner issues surrounding her and his family and they are something he has to work out on his own. Just show as much support and love for HIM as you can and sooner or later, he will realize that no matter how awful his mother/family are, there is ONE person who loves him for himself and that person is YOU. He will bless you for it inwardly. IMHO, the more of a stink you make over her picture, the more upset he will become with YOU.<P>Also, just curious here, but does he have a picture of you in his office, too? If not, give him one and ask him to please put it up, too. Better yet, make it a picture of you and him together, as a couple, to remind him of your bond together. <P>Wishing you peace,<BR>Winny
