So, many on here say my ex is playing me and using me and although somewhere inside I feel he still loves me, I decided that I couldn't continue the way things were.

I wrote him a long letter telling him how I felt. I told him how he hurt me and continues to hurt me and that I couldn't allow it anymore. I told him that he stated he wanted to be just friends and that he had to let that be and stop coming around.

He called me and we talked for two hours on Saturday and then he asked me to go to town with him. Stupid me did. He continued the same thing...telling me he cared.....flirting....coming on to me.....making sexual comments. I didn't bite. It was so hard for me.....but I remained firm to my letter.

He was back on Sunday to pick up something he let me borrow and the same thing...only more sexual. I told him I was NOT going there. He seemed shocked. He said, "You're really serious aren't you?" I told him, "Yes, I am!"

But, it's very hard and I've wanted to call him all day. I still feel this man loves me.

Anyway...how do I know if this man is serious about caring or if it is just a sexual thing? When I try and get close to him...he seems to pull away, but when I pull away, he tries to get close. I'm so confused!!!!

I don't know whether there is suck a thing as Plan A and B when you're already divorced...but what "Plan" should I follow?

Ferbie,

Very good with standing firm in your boundaries..

How will you know?? When he learns to respect your NO!! And begins to treat you with respect..

He may love you very much...but let HIM pursue you if he's really wanting to work things out--

Set up some guidelines for yourself in dating him
or even just as friends..

There is a book Boundaries in Dating..that you might want to consider reading..and see if that will help you gain some insight as to what you want and don't want in a relationship right now..

thanks.....things haven't gotten any better. I busted and phoned him last week and we got together. Why I do things like this is beyond me. I once again felt empty and sad when I left him. I haven't called him or had any contact with him for a week. It's been one of the hardest things I've had to do. I'm struggling so much and I'm not sure how to continue or how to conduct myself in all of this.

Can anyone please direct me. The pain has been going on for too long......it has to end sometime!!