This is just an update post on the final meltdown (or is it just the beginning...?) that my x-WW has put herself through.

Not too many people get to see the full ending... so I thought I'd share mine so the rest of you can know...

About 2 weeks ago, I started getting a number of phone calls and emails per day. Initially, they were polite and then they turned into begging me to call her back. Finally, she said that I had stolen some of her silverware and she wanted it back. She called my parents and based on that, I finally called her back. My parents don't enjoy hearing from her.

The phone call was very short:
- Hi. I don't have your silverware.
- Oh, um. Okay.
- Anything else?
- Not really... but I'm thinking of coming out to see you...
- That's a terrible idea. Lets talk later.

That resulted in a huge 10+ page email wherein she talked about how she has finally figured out why she did what she did and why my reaction was what it was. It boiled down to she can only conclude that I'm not as forgiving and big-eharted as guys she has met since and she can't believe I don't want to see her.

I didn't respond... what would the point have been? A few days pass and then another barrage of phone calls and emails. This time she has a really important decision to make that she needs my advice on. Another terse conversation is followed by another huge email from her. The salient points:
- She's moving in with a guy. He's way better than me, bla bla bla.
- He's 39. She's 26. He has 8 kids with 3x-wives who, as my x says had "Real Affairs", not like her at all.
- He begged them to come back and even forgave them. But they went through with the divorce and now live with the kids within walking distance of him. Each wife has total custody.
- She loves him completely and totally and is scared of moving in with him because, as she says, "he drinks and kind of has a temper. So I feel safe with him. Unless I suppose he wants to get married and I don't. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. It's nice not to have to try and earn someone's love. It just comes naturally."
- An hour later she sent a love letter to one of her cyberlovers telling him it'd be a few days before her computer gets hooked back up at her new place.

There are so many things wrong with this entire situation that I'm not even going to touch it. I'll let you all pick it out as you will. The interesting thing to me was that when I read this letter I FINALLY (after all this time and crap) felt the burden lift. I had expected that with the divorce but not so with me. And the cycle of self-destruction on her part, as far as I'm concerned, is over. I suppose she wants me to feel sorry for her... "Poor me, forced by you to move in with an alcoholic abuser..."

It was all I could do to refrain from calling her and pointing out that it's strange his x-wives, in spite of their Real Affairs, all kept full custody of the kids. I mean, you'd think by the 3rd failed marriage that he would have learned how to do this right?

Wow <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Some people cannot hit bottom enough times.

She's not done calling you for help yet. Trust me .... she's still got your phone number highlighted on her "Panic List".. Next call you just might be the nicest and kindest man she's ever met. Her mood will swing back and forth a few more times.

Your X- WW may have a personality disorder. (Boarderline Personality Disorder) She invites drama and disorder into her existance in order to feel alive. Any attention feels good.

Any chance you can change your number and be invisable?

Pep

Yep, Lyxa...

I 'killed her heart and forced her to jump at the first person to show her love' as well.

You know, it was just the multitude of things that 'I' did that caused her to be such a low character person. It is funny to me to even think that this person who I always loved with everything I had, is the same person who still blames me for everything that is going on in her life. I just don't engage at all any longer. I refuse to speak to her face to face, and it is a real boon to me. I know that your ex lives far away... you really must realize how lucky you are in this aspect. If not for my wonderful boys being here with her having part custody, we would be out of here in an instant.

I agree... I bet she isn't through with you yet. She has yet to do all the things that she will need to blame you for. I am certain.

<small>[ August 31, 2003, 03:16 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

What her post shows to you is that a person has to have intelligence before you can expect intelligent decisions. Personally, I would change your email address and have an unlisted phone number so that you do not need to hear from her. It would help you move on and hopefully find a mentally healthy woman.

<small>[ August 31, 2003, 08:00 PM: Message edited by: tomaz ]</small>

I agree with all of the above.

Good Luck,

Jill

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Lyxa:
<strong>This is just an update post on the final meltdown (or is it just the beginning...?) that my x-WW has put herself through.

Not too many people get to see the full ending... so I thought I'd share mine so the rest of you can know...

About 2 weeks ago, I started getting a number of phone calls and emails per day. Initially, they were polite and then they turned into begging me to call her back. Finally, she said that I had stolen some of her silverware and she wanted it back. She called my parents and based on that, I finally called her back. My parents don't enjoy hearing from her.

The phone call was very short:
- Not really... but I'm thinking of coming out to see you...
- That's a terrible idea. Lets talk later.

There are so many things wrong with this entire situation that I'm not even going to touch it. I suppose she wants me to feel sorry for her... "Poor me, forced by you to move in with an alcoholic abuser..."

I mean, you'd think by the 3rd failed marriage that he would have learned how to do this right?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dude! You hit the nail on the head with 'that's a terrible idea' - and the rest of what you posted, may the Lord bless you and continue to heal you, my friend. You are strong and have been moving on - even though you got this latest barrage of BS from her.
Keep on keeping on - you are certainly on the right track. And the advice you got on this thread has been excellent as well. Thank you for sharing this with us.
God bless,
HLT

Thanks for all your replies. Haven't heard from her yet so thank heavens! Day by day, life seems to get better the longer I go without hearing from her. I hope that any of you struggling with No Contact will take hope from that/this ending. During a lot of my "process" I wondered if justice was ever going to happen. Sometimes, it's in God's hands, but more often than not, our waywards seem to take it in their own hands and run with it.

I don't know if you listen to much country music, but there's a fairly new artist out, Jimmy Wayne, who has a song called "Stay Gone." It quickly became a favorite song of mine....

Baby, baby stay, stay right where you are,
I like it this way, it's good for my heart.
I haven't felt like this in God knows how long,
And I know everything's gonna be ok,
If you just stay gone.

I know that's the way I feel a lot, and I'm definitely at the point where I can't wait until I just don't have to deal with or talk to my WH anymore.

I know everytime the OW kicks my WH out again, I sort of feel a little vindication, but I realize that hearing from him and about his life now, whether good or bad, just ends up bringing the hurt back all over again.

So that's what I wish and pray for you - that she'll stay gone!

I moved this weekend. Am bruised, cut (from the tape gun thingie) and more than exhausted and have an ear infection. But I am smiling.

God's blessed me with good friends here and want you to know Lyxa that you are the one who chooses to not have contact and get sucked into her psychodrama.

Staying away is best from toxic x's. That's what I do. Thank goodness sometimes that my x, Jethro became soooo foggy and stoopid that he helped me into the legal NC thing.

I dread personally when I do have to deal with him ever again. But one thing's for sure. I will have as minimal contact as possible for the continuity of MY sanity..

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Know it's a matter of time until he loses it again and wayloads on Ms. Family (tootise roll queen) Values whom he took on a vacation with my son last weekend. Attny's will love it. Yet another violation of the final order.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tomaz:
What her post shows to you is that a person has to have intelligence before you can expect intelligent decisions. Personally, I would change your email address and have an unlisted phone number so that you do not need to hear from her. It would help you move on and hopefully find a mentally healthy woman.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ditto.

Thanks everyone for the great posts. TMCM posting on this thread truly makes the cycle complete! LOL.

If any of you are watching the Redskins v Jets game tonight, I'll be one of the bzillions of people at the DC concert tonight. ;-) I feel so free... and with that freedom, maybe Brittney Spears will date me, right? Oh right... Madonna. Hmmmm...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Lyxa:
<strong> I'll be one of the bzillions of people at the DC concert tonight. ;-) I feel so free... and with that freedom, maybe Brittney Spears will date me, right? Oh right... Madonna. Hmmmm...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, was that you holding up that light in the front row when Aerosmith was rocking the house with 'Dream On'?
You lucky dude - hope the concert was a good one!
DJTB

Well, Brittney wouldn't date me. Which is fine as I think she's probably a biohazard threat to most "normal" people at this point in her life. Blech.

The concert was a good one. And, the Redskins surprisingly won!!!

Lyxa:

I have 2 agree with Pepper on this one. Your x has a problem (but I'm just a geologist, I wouldn't know problems from rocks...)

This got me, though:

"as she says, "he drinks and kind of has a temper. So I feel safe with him. Unless I suppose he wants to get married and I don't. I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. "

Hasn't she heard of mortars? There's no need 2 go all the way 2 the bridge 2 set it alight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

And, heck... ...I'd sure feel safer with a mean drunk, wouldn't anyone???

Get caller id and block her emails. Move if you have 2. This woman has a lot of growing up 2 do, and it's no longer your responsibility.

-2long

I agree 2Long... makes perfect sense... bust out the long range stuff.

I was actually more amused by her misuse of the maxim... "Don't burn your bridges BEFORE you cross them."

She's right - in that situation, she will BURN that bridge WHEN she gets to it. It was all I could do not call her and say, "After you've burned your bridge and your stuck with this loser, what then? HMMMM?" I'm so glad she's on someone else's watch FINALLY.

Anyways, fortunately she lives 2000+ miles away in Utah. So, it's all good. I'm not going to hear from her till one of her "Must Call Eric" triggers is hit. I'm guessing it'll be at least another month. As for me, I've met this awesome girl and am quite (and surprisingly) easily falling in love with her.

Waves.

<small>[ September 09, 2003, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: Lyxa ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">" I'm not going to hear from her till one of her "Must Call Eric" triggers is hit. I'm guessing it'll be at least another month."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ain't masochism grand? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />