I am still alive and kicking...
Still bruised and totally exhausted from moving a 3 story house a week ago. To make a long story shorter (I am too wordy I know) I will try to number each thing that's happened.
And Orchid, I have a link for you from a MB very good buddy. This might be good for you. Will email it to you on your email addy later ok?
1)Yesterday made 2 years since officially "hell broke loose". If anybody remembers, I filed for divorce between 9 and 10 am on 9/11/01. Planes were crashing and the paralegals were crying and screaming in the other room and I thought the whole world was coming to an end. Yesterday was so hard. And I still grieved. For those who lost and for my family's loss. Got in late from a med. society meeting (am prez now) and then cried and cried and then thought about existential divorce stuff and what God thinks about divorce. Needless to say, didn't get alot of sleep.
2)Cool thing today: weighed at the clinic and discovered that I have lost 7 lbs from the move.
3)Jethro is still being Jethro but I have NC still with him and don't want any as long as he's behaving as he is. I need MAJOR PRAYER today as the county's victim assistance representative announced to me on wed. that they have reached a plea agreement with Jethro and his attorney regarding his breaking and entering into my home and evading arrest. County is who brought about r.o. against Jethro after that stunt in May. I am really avoiding calling her and know this up front. It is not a very adult thing to do, having a huge avoidance reaction, but at least I recognize it.
Prayer need: To get firm resolve and call her by 3 pm and let her know what I want to do with regard to NC. I've really enjoyed the peace with having NC with him. But even if contact is legally reinstated, it will be minimal from my end as I am in an indefinite plan B. I have built safe boundaries and that's that.
3)Jethro went to Bahamas with Family Values and her child over Labor Day weekend. I was moving a 3 story house and he was living la vida loca and my child got mad because her ill-behaved boy spit at him and he had to stay in the same room with other child. He asked me "why does she have to stay with Daddy in the same room. Doesn't she have her own room? She's NOT supposed to do that mommy." Even my son is painfully aware now of the fogginess of his father and ho. I can't be nice or anything about them. So I just leave it alone and if my son asks, I don't sugarcoat anything but answer without any tone or anger whatsoever. He's got enough to deal with. So I pray and love him as much as I can.
4)New house is going to be great. This weekend I am finishing up my son's room while he's away at Jethro's. I painted the walls and have made a "camping out/safari" theme and it's really gonna be cool. So son will come back from jethro's and see his room. He will feel like he has a stable home.
5)Neighbors are really nice. A few days ago after son went to Jethro's for his visit, I had a huge meltdown after realizing the financial crisis Jethro had placed me in. And yes, even somebody who's not reckless with their spending and has a decent job can spiral downward when they're married or divorcing a person who wants to "live like a rock star" as Jethro so aptly once put his description of his life. Huge blessing came down from heaven from a good friend and that's a whole other topic. So that problem is temporarily squelched. Back to the neighbors. They are super nice. I found this morning an invite on my front door to join the neighborhood tennis team from Heather, the really nice neighbor who's got a little boy a year younger than my son. My son's already met her son and they've played. People have been kind and helpful and they really keep their yards pretty so I've got alot of work cut out for me.
6)Just found out today that I don't have voice mail on my new phone number. I am getting that fixed in a bit.
7)Work is going well...I don't have my hotlab equipment completely here, about half of it is here, and I've been putting all that together...Hmmm. assembling a medical lab is not that hard when you've successfully moved a 3 story house pretty much by yourself (with the exception of the movers that were there for a day..it took me really five days to move the whole house). I should start seeing patients in about a week. Wed. the nurse practicioner was gone and they asked if I could see the patients for her before the cardiologist comes in at the end, so I saw 5 patients. It was cool. I learned most of this stuff in college and used to be able to do a complete head to toe physical pretty fast and did all right. The patients actually commented to one cardiologist that "I was a good listener and the doc said that I was great at histories". So minor victory. People are really wonderful and the commute is much shorter.
8)Am going to visit a new church on Sunday. Plus found out about a huge singles Bible study and might start going. Have joined Atl. Young Repub. and love it! They are awesome and have alot of group fun. They have a book club too and I am going to go and get the new book and start reading. Lots of social activities and I know that I can't stay in seclusion forever.
9)Still living in the convent. I am pretty much confused with regard to spirituality and the whole divorce/faith issue. I have to reconcile some of my ideas about all of it and then just sit and do alot of thinking. I've got time. Got told by a co worker this week that I look like I am twentysomething. So I guess I can hold out a bit longer..Like another year maybe? Take that 25 yo Family Values!
10)Yea, divorce stinks and it hurts but I am surviving and praying daily. My goal is to be the coolest (yet conservative) divorcee in the ATL. FV is back with Jethro and I know their rleationship is doomed. It's gutter-bound and I know it. But I am far back enough to see the light.
It's been two long years. It seems Jacky from down under and I were on the same time line. We are both trying to find happy endings and I feel like all I just want is a happy new beginning. The last 2 years since filing have been the hardest ever of my life. But I made it. I survived it because of God and good friends here. Thank you so much for standing with me and standing by me. I am blessed by your friendship. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
