Well, one more week and its been a year since she told me she didn't love me anymore, wanted to end our marriage, and I moved out with our two teenage daughters. (6 months since she moved in with her boyfriend). My new girlfriend thinks I should file for divorce, and I guess I think so to, afterall, I don't really want her back anymore.

The Lord has done some pretty remarkable changes to me. Even my girlfriend can't understand why my wife wouldn't want me back. I told her I wasn't the nice guy I am now, and even though my wife see's the changes when she visits our two girls, she won't acknowledge them.

Time to move on, I guess. I would welcome any opinions or questions some of you may have.

Yours in Christ, Jim

<small>[ September 08, 2003, 04:27 AM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

You mention the Lord several times, so I will assume you are a Christian. I'm sure that your wife's comments about not loving you must have been very difficult. You aren't yet divorced though? But you have a girlfriend? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> You are not only still married in God's eyes, but you are still LEGALLY married. Thus, both you and your wife are currently committing adultery. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Personally, I think there is hope for your marriage, because I believe there is hope for almost every marriage, but why are you dating a woman when you are still MARRIED?? As a sister in the Lord, I don't say this to condemn you but to help you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LoveMyEx:
<strong>You mention the Lord several times, so I will assume you are a Christian. I'm sure that your wife's comments about not loving you must have been very difficult. You aren't yet divorced though? But you have a girlfriend? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> You are not only still married in God's eyes, but you are still LEGALLY married. Thus, both you and your wife are currently committing adultery. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Personally, I think there is hope for your marriage, because I believe there is hope for almost every marriage, but why are you dating a woman when you are still MARRIED?? As a sister in the Lord, I don't say this to condemn you but to help you.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I completely disagree.......to god marriage and divorce takes place in ones HEART.....the contract is just a piece of paper. God KNOWS if that couple is divorced or not regardless of the paper its written on. To man, they are still married, but GOD knows the truth.

I believe in my heart that my wife severed our marriage vows when she became sexually involved with her boyfriend shortly after our separation. I know that it almost killed me when I found out, almost worse than initially when she said our marriage was over and she didn't love me anymore.

She is the one who committed adultery and released me from our marriage vows. Anyways, the Lord knows the hearts, and I take comfort in Romans 8:1,2 and in Christ being my life now rather than just my Lord and Saviour Gal 2:20

Blessings!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by niceguyjim:
<strong>I believe in my heart that my wife severed our marriage vows when she became sexually involved with her boyfriend shortly after our separation. I know that it almost killed me when I found out, almost worse than initially when she said our marriage was over and she didn't love me anymore.

She is the one who committed adultery and released me from our marriage vows. Anyways, the Lord knows the hearts, and I take comfort in Romans 8:1,2 and in Christ being my life now rather than just my Lord and Saviour Gal 2:20

Blessings!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Exactly!...........God Bless You. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Tyson
Then why didn't you divorce her then?

I completely disagree.......to god marriage and divorce takes place in ones HEART.....the contract is just a piece of paper.
Where does it say that?

I completely disagree.......to god marriage and divorce takes place in ones HEART.....the contract is just a piece of paper.
Where does it say that?[/QB][/QUOTE]

It does not say it anywhere literally, but God knows everyones heart doesnt he?

<small>[ September 08, 2003, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: StartinOver ]</small>

Yes but my point is people don't know His mind/thinking and it's not up to us to speak for Him.

From Bible Law.com
'Note; In Matthew 5:32 that «fornication» (illegal marriage or sexual union) is the exception to the law commanding divorce papers to be given when one»s wife is put away. In this verse Jesus gives a commentary on Deuteronomy 24:1, saying that if any man violates that law by merely putting away one's wife (i.e. without divorce papers) he causes her to commit adultery. That is if she has not been lawfully divorced, but merely put away , and she marries someone else, it is adultery, because she is still lawfully married to the man who sent her away. Thus, Jesus says that not only are such wives guilty of adultery, but the husbands who put them away are equally liable as well.'

Why would God want papers if a "marriage and divorce takes place in ones HEART?"

<small>[ September 08, 2003, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Find me a scripture on the wayward wife who sleeps with other men while they are married?

StartinOver,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Find me a scripture on the wayward wife who sleeps with other men while they are married? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Without knowing where this is going to go, How about the whole book of Hosea? God tells him to marry Gomer (a prostitute) and while they are married she sleeps with many many men. God knew she would still sleep with other men, but never had them divorce. He had it planned all along for them to reconcile.

Just thought I'd toss in my .02 worth.

S&C

???
Adultery is adultery. I don't think there's a "double" adultery in the bible anywhere.

If she's married, it doesn't matter if she sleeps with married or unmarried men.

Even my girlfriend can't understand why my wife wouldn't want me back.
If she WOULD (if we all tried hard enough, we COULD probably think of a reason to NOT be around anyone) think of a reason, do you think she would be sticking around?

Satan is the author of confusion........that happened to be one example or incident in the bible showing how god is able to work.....that does NOT mean it will happen in all circumstances. The bible also states its OK to divorce because of adultery.

The bible also states its OK to divorce because of adultery.
So? niceguyjim is NOT divorced, nor even in the process of divorce.

I give up...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Satan is the author of confusion</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's right, so if something is confusing when it comes to scripture, then you know Satan has his hand it it. So I ask; would think that God or Satan would be the one to lean toward married people getting divorced?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">........that happened to be one example or incident in the bible showing how god is able to work.....that does NOT mean it will happen in all circumstances.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Exactly, God would rather us reconcile not divorce, but it freewill that has the ability to us away from God's plan. If we all followed God's will, all marriages would reconcile (but that isn't going to happen, because we don't always do God's will).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The bible also states its OK to divorce because of adultery.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, we have the right to divorce, but it's not always the right thing to do.

Besides, you only asked for one scripture.

BTW. God had a covenant with Israel (a marriage covenant) and they commited adultery against God. He hasn't given up on them and still to this day seeks reconciliation with his people.

But this thread is about niceguyjim, who is still married and is committing adultery. At least as long as there are no divorce papers.

S&C

Thanks for all the input everyone. I do have the divorce forms sitting on my desk as we speak. Here in Canada you have to wait 1 year to file for divorce, unless you can prove adultery (not that easy). I believe its Matthew 19 that says its okay to divorce for adultery.

Thanks again for everyones passionate responses.

Blessings!

Wait 1 year from when? Legal separation?
Or do you file and then after 1 year, you can finalize it?

What if right now, she decided she wanted to get back together? It's a real big possibility, especially if you file. That tends to stir up the pot.

Where would that leave you with your gilrfriend?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by steadfast and committed:
<strong>[QUOTE]But this thread is about niceguyjim, who is still married and is committing adultery. At least as long as there are no divorce papers.

S&C</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Honestly, if niceguyjim and his wayward wife intend to divorce and no longer want to be together (niceguy has the right to divorce anyhow) what difference does it really make if he has g/f now or not??? I mean really? What difference does it make?

what difference does it really make if he has g/f now or not???
What difference did it make when she had a boyfriend? She perhaps thought the marriage was over? Why was it wrong then for her to date?