>A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
>
>He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
>
>"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
>
>Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
>
>The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that
>it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
>
>Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
>
>The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain
>elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
>
>Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
>manager and disappears into a back office.
>
>She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out
>there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to
>use this as collateral."
>
>She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
>
>(you're gonna love this)
>
>(its a real treat)
>
>( a masterpiece)
>
>(wait for it)
>
>
>The bank manager looks back at her and says...
>
>
>"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a
>Rolling Stone."
>
>
>(You're singing it, aren't you?)
>
>
>
>Never take life seriously.
>
>Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Happy Friday Cindy!!!!!
and thank you
That was (is) priceless.

heh heh heh

xo
MCO

O my. **ROTFL here** Thank you for the great joke, Princess!
Made my day.
HLT

Probably made your day because it had song lyrics. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Anybody still play with Barbies??? ----
Now... the 'New & Improved' Barbie:
As you know, Barbie is fast approaching forty. Now, at long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging gracefully. These offerings are a bit more realistic. 1. BIFOCALS BARBIE. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half frames too!), neckchain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. HOT FLASH BARBIE. Press Barbie's belly button and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues. 3. FACIAL HAIR BARBIE. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. 4. FLABBY ARMS BARBIE. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,too. Muumuus with tummy support panels are included. 5. BUNION BARBIE. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slipon soft terry mules. 6. NO MORE WRINKLES BARBIE. Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie'sown line of exclusive age blasting cosmetics. 7. SOCCER MOM BARBIE. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphones to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in white with double doors and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch. 8. MID LIFE CRISIS BARBIE. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B & B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up is Hard to Do." 9. DIVORCE BARBIE. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat. 10. SINGLE MOM BARBIE. There's not much time for primping any more. Ken's shacked up with the Swedish au pair in the Dream House, and Barbie's across town with Babs an Ken, Jr. in a fourth floorwalk-up. Barbie's selling off her old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage sale kit included. 11. RECOVERY BARBIE. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she doesTwelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke. 12. POST-MENOPAUSAL BARBIE. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch With Your Inner Self" is included.

Here's another one... Never underestimate a scorned woman...
DJTB-------------

Subject: DRIVING TO DIVORCE

A married couple was driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The wife was behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looked across at her and spoke in a clear voice.
"Darling," he said, "I know we've been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce."
The wife said nothing, kept looking at the road ahead but slowly increased her speed to 45 mph.The husband spoke again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he said, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again, the wife remained quiet, but gripped the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increased the speed to 55.
He pushed his luck. "I want the house," he said insistently. Up went the speed to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continued. The speed was now 65 mph.
"And," he said, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."
The car slowly started veering towards a massive concrete flyover. This made him a wee bit nervous, so he asked her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
In a quiet, controlled voice, the wife replied, "No, I've got everything I need."
"Oh, really?" he inquired. "So what have you got?"

Just before they slammed into the wall at 80 mph, the wife turned to him and smiled before replying, "The airbag"....