son has no contact with dad, its been over a yr since they last saw each other. son was 11 when dad told him about MOW & why he was leaving home. Dad said not to worry he would take care of everything, mom would only have to take a part time job. dad changed mine that night saying he would stay & tried to make our M work. that was a joke, dad went after everything & we are in appeal courts over the navy retirement. dad is behind $1800. on court ordered school & medical. No birthday gift or card, one phone call since X left, son hung up on him.

last week he got a cold, wasnt bad just the start of one. When I told him he would have to go to school he just look at me with angry & said that I was as cold as dad was. I was shocked to hear him say this. It hurt but I know the pain he is going though. he said he was sorry later for telling me that & didnt mean it.

son cant understand why everything that dad does or dont do only hurts him. I dont know what to tell son I never thought X would become a deadbeat dad & never see his son again. I cant talk to X, he is filled with hate & we are in fear of him doing me harm. X knows his son hates him & OW but blames me for all his problems.

Has anyone else had any problems with teenagers & not wanting to see the other parent? how long does it take to get over the pain & hate? I remember going though the stages of pain, hate and angry but is it the same for a teenager (14yrs old)? Im at peace with my life now and have no hate for X or OW. I just want my son to feel the same way. X took away his childhood I dont want him to do the same with his teenage years.

My Family2,

I have three teenagers. My daughter is 20, my oldest son is 18 and my youngest son is 16. My oldest son felt sorry for his Dad and moved with him to another state last year. My daughter and my youngest son will not even talk to their Dad. I encourage them to do so but they are so angry with him they can't right now. He does not call them or write them. I twice this year got tickets for my Son to fly home and see us. My ex has not even offerred it to the two kids here. He has not seen my youngest son now for almost two years. So, so sad. My daughter was married a month ago and it was so sad that my fiancee had to be their to give her away because her real Dad couldn't make it but then went to Florida on vacstion the next week.
I have received no money from him for the kids for two years.

I now have my youngest son in counseling. I don't want him to grow up feeling like he was not wanted. My fiancee is wonderful to him and they have formed a close bond which is great and that helps.

Jill

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by myfamily2:
<strong>

Has anyone else had any problems with teenagers & not wanting to see the other parent? how long does it take to get over the pain & hate? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi MF2! I'm sorry about what happened to you, and your son is (I think you and him both know this already) definitely a VICTIM of divorce - because his father chose to cause all these problems, etc.
I can only tell you that I divorced 5 1/2 years ago and my son (one of them anyway) still has not spoken to me since. He did email me a halfhearted email once - as shallow and platonic as you can get - and he did write me a hateful mean letter when he was demanding that I sign the Adoption Papers - his Mother remarried within 5 months of our Divorce. It's not from my trying to email and write them - after some 30 unanswered letters and emails, I gave up on them...
So, who knows? Different folks are affected differently by these things.
I hope your son finds the peace he needs to lose the bitterness and terrible hurt he's feeling right now. What his father did to him was awful and certainly heart-breaking, to you as well as to your son.
Harold

I recommend counseling. I'm a big proponent of it. I think it can work wonders. Not every counselor is a good fit, however. Wonderful credentials and recommendations don't mean anything if you don't connect. Your child's doctor or school might be a good source for referrals.