My H is cheating.Says he hates me, wants it over, and will not do counseling.I am a stay at home mom of 4 young kids.We are so in debt/ did bankrupsey 2yrs ago.I have not worked in 12 yrs and have disabilities with nerve damage to my back/leg.I have tried it all.

He is getting a lawyer.

Would anyone know of a good lawyer in Washington state/in pierce county (near seattle/ tacoma/ puyallup area?

I am lost and i need a good lawyer since he is treatening to take it all and i can not support the kids on what he is talking about.I still love him and want it to work but i know i have to protect me and the kids.

Thank you so much

Just my opinion, from what i have read,,, if you really truly want to save your marriage, the best thing to do is nothing. Nothing at all. Its difficult, but when one starts acting, and following thru with, if you will retaliation efforts, the hate actually sets in, (more). The war is on,, because our defense mechanisms are setting forth. Make sense?
It actually makes the person contemplating/seeking divorce, sets it more into his/her mind, to continue forward, with more spite!
Yet, I do not know the circumstance between you and your spouse, you will need to be careful,, timing is also crucial. If he already has it in his mind that he absolutely wants a divorce, there is still hope. Even if he has the feelings/thoughts of detachment, and is withdrawn.

If there is a Barnes and Nobles bookstore in your area, order the book *The Divorce Remedy* the proven 7 step program for saving your marriage. By Michele Weiner Davis. Or give http://www.divorcebusting
You still have time.

Again, this is just my opinions, and i have passed on some of the info i have came across, attempting to save my marriage.

<small>[ September 11, 2003, 07:41 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Lost and Numb,
Remember, just because you visit a lawyer, it does NOT mean that you are "pro-divorce". It means you are being smart in looking out for yourself and your kids. You will be able to have a plan in place IF NEEDED. Hopefully this post will bump your thread up for someone in the Washington area to see and recommend someone; in the meantime, visit the websites below. They will give you some background info into divorce laws, and are state-specific. Reading through them will also enable you to be concise and a little more clear-headed when you DO talk to an attorney, thereby saving you some time (and money!). You could also contact a women's resource center if your area has one, they might could recommend lawyers who do pro-bono work if you qualify. Keep us posted!
Divorce Source
Divorce Info
Divorce Net

Hi Lost,

I am very sorry for what is occuring. Sorry Stephan but the advice to do nothing is probably one of the worst. I believe God can fix everything but her H has free will and if he wants a divorce the sad truth is he will recieve it.

Sorry I do not have a lot of time but you can go to www.findlaw.com. On this site you can do a search for law firms in your area that specialize in divorce as well as you can find all the documents that would be needed. I would suggest that you discuss the fact that you do not wish for this divorce with your lawyer. They might be able to give you suggestions on how to slow the process down along with finding ways to force your H into therapy. Just some thoughts. I wish you and your marriage the best but do protect yourself in case it does not survive.

avondale, can i ask you, are you familiar with just how many divorces are actually resulted, finalized, just from that type of protection thinking visit??

Divorce is not an overnight thing. Its a proven fact, if there is that one spouse, who does not want a divorce, and waits, rides the storm out. The marriage has an huge opportunity, opposed to one actually reacting, back. Its giving fire to the already existing inferno.
Bearing in mind, that yes, there may come that day, when its time,,

There is no part of me saying to anybody, to heed, or follow any of my advice. First, i always remember there are always two sides to every situation, and then there is the truth.

I'AM A STANDER!!!
http://www.rejoicemimistries.org

<small>[ September 11, 2003, 07:42 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Yes, Praise God, i too believe he can fix anything.
I shared info from what i have learned/read,,,
and shared my opinions,
Moi, i appreciate your opinion.

God said he is *Wonderful Mighty counselor. Isa 9:6
Read Ps 46:10, Most important thing to do, *be still and know that I'am God*
In Ezek, God tells us he is able to restore a marriage through the obedience of only one spouse, standing in the gap lifting up Holy hands.
Read Luke 15:11-15 God tells us prodigals do come to their senses, and to pray that this will happen to your spouse.

What is the desire of an divorce attorney? His paycheck?? Or to save any marriages??

still standing!!!

Stephan,
I don't want to hijack this thread, but I did want to reply to your question directed at my post.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> avondale, can i ask you, are you familiar with just how many divorces are actually resulted, finalized, just from that type of protection thinking visit?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No. Do you? All I said was to see a lawyer for advice and protection. I specifically said that seeing a lawyer does not mean you want a divorce. God gave us brains to use the resources (including MB, Restore Ministries, and those with wisdom such as pastors and lawyers) that are available to us.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Divorce is not an overnight thing. Its a proven fact, if there is that one spouse, who does not want a divorce, and waits, rides the storm out. The marriage has an huge opportunity, opposed to one actually reacting, back. Its giving fire to the already existing inferno. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I realize this. My husband left me for OW over a year ago. (By the way, I am a very strong Christian [some might call Jesus Freak] and H was a leader in our church.) I made it clear initially and have continuously said that I want our marriage to be restored. I saw a lawyer when he left. I have since been in a holding pattern, waiting on him. Lost & Numb's husband does not need to know she saw a lawyer. It should not add fire to anything. Perhaps your experience with lawyers has been different than mine, but my lawyer was fine with just taking all my facts and then waiting, and gave me some financial advice to consider. There was no push to divorce and "get back at" my husband. BTW, the counselor we saw (and I've seen some individually) uses Michelle Weiner-Davis's book & method, so I think in a lot of ways you and I are on the same page.)

Lost& Numb has special circumstances/needs and if her husband initiates divorce, she should be ready to protect herself because she cannot work and there are 4 young children in the home. Many lawyers are family lawyers (not specifically divorce lawyers) and are familiar with other separation-related issues (child support, housing, etc.). Lost & Numb could need that info without ever getting a divorce.

<small>[ September 12, 2003, 07:00 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Try buying the book "Divorce for Dummies." It can help you in figuring out what to do.

<small>[ September 14, 2003, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: broken heart and arm ]</small>