Dueinjan,

Was wondering how things are going for you? Did you decided to file for D this month?

STBX! I can't beleive it. I haven't logged on to MB in a couple of weeks now. For some reason I just decided to before I left from work. I wanted to see how you were doing and I saw your note. How incredible! Well, thank you for thinking about me. Today is year + one day of seperation. My lawyers were supposed to do something with "the papers" today but I haven't heard from them.

Yes, I'm going through with the divorce. It makes me sad but I feel nothing for my H when I see him now. I would like to have an intact family but it's too late for us now. I'm focused on caring for the kids and trying to have a cooperative co-parent relationship with my H. I also have to admit that I've met a very nice man (different from the first date one that I reported) and we've enjoyed emailing and have spent some time together - no hand holding, kissing or anything like that - just getting to know eachother. It's been very nice and a welcome distraction from my WH and the divorce.

But yes. I am done. I can't imaging now living with him again. He is so miserable and depressed. I worry about the kids when they're with him but I'm hoping the depression is just for my benefit and that he cheers up when the kids are with him.

How are you???? I haven't been keeping up so if you've been reporting, please forgive me but fill me in!

DIJ

Hi Dueinjan,
I saw your post in GQII but, I thought I would write you here.

Yes, he's moved out. BUT, I know he's still seeing her and still staying over at her house.

And I'm thinking it's time for Plan B. I'm done and tired of all of this and just want to go dark. I've done an EXCELLENT plan a. Working out, losing weight (now in a size 6 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ),and going out with friends. Actually felt quite content with everything.

All along he's been saying that he wants to work things out, blah, blah, blah. And nothing's changed. He says that he keeps trying to tell himself, FAMILY FIRST. Well I wonder if he's thinking that when he's spending the night with her? I doubt it!

So my Plan b letter will be in the mail today. Divorce is still going through. Thinking seriously about buying a house for me and the kids.

I'm ok, disappointed but I'll be ok. Divorce is for sure. He's a fence sitter and I'm kicking him off my side! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> LOL

It's the right thing, and I've finally realized it. I was just scared to do the whole Plan b. I just felt like it was so close to recovery. NOPE.

I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you had hoped. They didn't work out the way I had hoped for me either. But I can tell you that once you make the decision to move forward regardless of if he wants to come back etc. life is just so much more peaceful and happy.

I didn't realize what a huge dark cloud I had been living under for over a year and now it's as if the clouds have parted a bit and I am beginning to see some sun emerge. Loosing weight and looking good has really been a huge boost for me too. Sometimes I feel selfish because I've been paying more attention to the way I look but then I say - hey, why not! On the few times that I've seen my WH, he's never failed to mention how good I look. Meanwhile he looks skinny and miserable and tormented. My WH says that he will regret what he's done for the rest of his life but even that hasn't been able to make him do what he needed to do. I've been working on forgiveness of both him and OW and that has eased my heart as I send the kids to them each weekend.

Trust in God. Pray to him. If you and your WH were meant to be together, it will happen again. If not, you will find happiness and peace either alone or with someone else. You know that you did everything you could. There was nothing else you could have done. You deserve better. And your kids deserve to have their mother treated better than you/I and most of the people on this site have been treated. You're strong. You'll be fine. You'll be happy again and your children will be fine too - but you knew that, didn't you?

DIJ

God Dueinjan,

I think there is something seriously wrong with me. I haven't sent the plan b letter. I don't want to. I know I should but I can't find the strength to do it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I just don't know what to do. We've been getting along great for about 3 months or so. It's like were building a new relationship as FRIENDS. And it's been really nice to talk and laugh with him. He's been the one bringing up the whole relationship talk. And he says he wants to work things out and he's trying to break out of this affair. I don't know if I'm just STUPID or what but a part of me believes him. And another part of me says if you really want it then you would do anything to get it. You know what I mean.

I'm just so confused. I don't want the divorce but then again I don't want to stop it. ARRRGGG <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> My emotions are just running wild. I feel like as soon as he left, I tried to control the situation. Called him more, checked on him, asked if he talked to her, and all the stuff I use to do when dday happened. And I feel like it's starting it all over again.

I just need to step back but I feel like he's so close to coming home that I feel like I'm starting to push it.

I'm going nuts. I think maybe I should start seeing a councelor. I've gone to go see my preist a couple of times but, I think maybe I need a councelor.

Sorry, I just had to let it all out. Been feeling really confused on what I should do.

It's funny how you said that your WH says that he'll regret it for the rest of his life and does nothing about it. That's something my WH use to say. Now he says that he wants to come back but does nothing about it.

My WH has lost about 15 lbs since he left in Jan. And he was already thin to begin with. He also looks miserable and depressed. How sad, I think. To live you life like this and do nothing about it, knowing it's truely not what you want. What makes them stay with the OW?

My WH also makes comments on how good I look. Too bad for him, huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dueinjan, you sound like you're doing great. I'm so happy for you and your kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />