A small Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within
a
few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult to
handle.
Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The
gorilla was in heat and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
available.

Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Eddie
Santon, a redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the
animal's cages. Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but
possessed
ample desire to satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator
thought they might have a solution.

Eddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex
with the gorilla for $500.00? Eddie showed some interest, but said he
would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Eddie
announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following
four conditions:

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The
park
administrator quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park
administrator again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern
Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.

"And last of all," Eddie stated, "You've got to give me another week to
come up with the $500.00."