This is my first post. This is "water under the bridge" but after reading Dr. Harley's advice I think I made a bad decision. When my wife of 19 yrs asked for divorce, I was the usual dazed and confused and started looking for advice. On Dr. Dobson's website he gives his tough love approach which I tried. I wanted to delay the divorce as long as possible so I offered to buy her a house if she would delay. I was also hoping that by aiding separation, I would be sending her the message that she was free to go rather than me hanging on to her. Now she has filed for divorce and she become more distant since we separated 3 months ago. Now I am thinking I should have done nothing when she asked for divorce, let her file and because of our circumstances, she would have been forced to live in the same house until the divorce was finalized.

Lost,
Don't second-guess yourself, it will only make you more confused and is totally unproductive! Work with your situation as of today. I am very familiar with Dr. Dobson's "Love Must be Tough" book (which is what I'm implementing too). However, I'm not sure why you bought the house, because Dobson doesn't advocate going that far, does he? (Or did I miss something?)

"Tough love" is very simliar to "Plan B" which can be found on this site. However, Plan B usually is preceded by a time of trying Plan A. It may not be too late for you to do Plan A. Read about "Plan A" and "Plan B" here:What are Plan A & B?

Have you read the other information here at Marriage Builders? I think a lot of the concepts and articles are similar to Dr. Dobson's thinking and you would probably be comfortable with them (note: not everyone in the discussion forums follow the Harley's methodology).

Without knowing more of your story, it would be difficult to comment further. Was there infidelity involved? Are you still dialoging any with your wife? Do you have children? Remember, the resources you find (MB, Dobson, divorce busters, counseling, etc...) are going to be different for each marriage situation. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many choices! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Keep us posted.