My ex-husband was abusive. He has been ordered to go to a Batterer's Intervention Program, as well as a psychiatrist, to work on his issues. Lately I have been feeling the need to restore our marriage. I know it's not me of myself, but a word from God. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> We both want to be friends first, because we've been through a lot in the past year. We have a daughter together and want things to work out for the best. I believe God brought him into my life for a reason. I also belive that God can work a miracle in any situation. I just wonder if our situation is so bad that restoration isn't an option. Any suggestions?

I think with god anything is possible, I just went through a divorce but I stil love my wife, I pray to god everyday that he will restore our marriage, I believe if we are meant to be together we will be , it will be gods will, I believe in god and I think he will bring us together in time, in your situation if you feel like you should restore your marriage, that must be god telling you that, there must be a reason hes telling you that , maybe your husband and you needed the time apart to work out your personal issues, and god is telling you not to give up that this guy is pretty special

Hi Amber,

Please go to www.restorem.org and www.rejoiceministries.org (sign up for their free email devotional called "Charlyne Cares").

These are both marriage restoration/reconciliation sites in which the husbands both had affairs, they divorced, but the wives wanted to reconcile and sought it... mostly through prayer. 2 years later and both couples remarried and now the husbands are totally strong Christians and so thankful for wives who "stood by" them even when they were cheating on them!!

Anyways, in my opinin... and based on what I know of God from His Word, NOTHING is impossible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I heard on the radio tonight... God is our Healer, Provider, Comforter, Master. He certainly can heal your husband and your marriage. Most of the time, in the Bible and in our lives, there are no "quick fixes" and growth takes time and effort and patience, etc. Sometimes though, God does miraculously change a person or situation though (like Paul's changed heart when God made him blind).

Obviously, I can't tell you how God will work in your situation, but I do believe that if YOU are praying, seeking the Lord in this, obeying Him, etc... He will hear your prayers and will honor them. I just read somewhere last night in 1 Samuel where it said that God honors those who honor Him.

Obvioulsy, God hates both divorce and abuse. He does not want either of them to characterize you, your husband, or your marriage. He wants to change your husband... and He CAN!! Even though you will hear from others that people don't change, etc... I know too many people and their loved ones who HAVE changed! If people can't change, then that would mean that some things are too hard for God, but it says in His Word that NOTHING is too hard for Him!

I will say that I do not believe your situation is so bad that it is impossible to reconcile. If you go to those websites, they can give you much better "advice" than I can. Also, if you read some of the testimonies of restored marriages, you will see that God can heal marriages in which there has been abuse, adultery, and divorce.

My greatest suggestion to you would be to seek the Lord in prayer and seek wisdom from His Word. See what He says and ask Him to guide you and show you His will.

I agree in prayer for both yours and Lonelyjrock's marriages. God honors faithfulness! I mentioned I was reading 1 Samuel. David was a righteous man (this was before his adultery) and yet, King Saul HATED him to the point of wanting to kill him and pursuing him. He basically "abused" him both verbally and by harrassing/hounding him with the intent to kill. BUT David NEVER did wrong to Saul, even when he had the opportunity! He never said bad things about him and he basically, still loved and honored him as the king (although he did hide from him so he wouldn't be killed). God honored this.

When Joseph was sold into slavery and falsely imprisoned, he never complained, didn't fight back, etc. He stayed faithful to God and His commands, and in the end... He became the most powerful man in the country!

God will honor you when you... bless those who curse you... forgive when it is undeserved... pray for those who persecute you... etc.

I am not advising that you simply say, "abuse me!
For one, it is illegal to physically abuse a spouse. And as for how to handle abuse, I don't know how to advise you with that. But I don't think it's something God can't change/heal/etc.

Sorry... I am saying way too much here!

Well, I truly do hope and pray that God restores both yours and loneyjrock's marriages!! I, too, and praying he restores mine... that is why I am "lovemyex". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God bless you!! Go see those sites. They are far more eloquent than I am! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi ambermh,

I believe you should give it more time. He is not done with the Batterers class yet, and most batterers beg to come back home, so that is not uncommon. Has he been begging you?

He will have to be tested, and proven first.

Please do not make any hasty moves. Are you going through Domestic Violence counseling also? Anything? I highly advise you too if you are not. Please becareful. I have a very concerned heart for you and your child right now. Please do not be decieved especially w/ a batterer.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

LoveMyEx,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Even though you will hear from others that people don't change, etc... I know too many people and their loved ones who HAVE changed! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just curious -- do you know of anyone who's husband was abusive and he changed and they got back together?

Thanks.

Lovemyex,
You are right about nothing being impossible with God. And although we don't always know WHAT he is doing, it's important to know that He IS doing things we simply can't see yet. Faith is the evidence of things hoped for. The marriage covenant is a powerful contract that God Himself was involved in. [God has never broken a covenant that He has made with us. Thank You God!!!] It wasn't just between the husband and wife. God says in His word that He hates sin and we should hate sin like He hates it. He despises it. Then He says that He HATES divorce also. We need to get them in the same context. He hates divorce the VERY SAME as HE hates murder. If we as Christians would stand against ALL sin and not just what affects us, we would see a lot less divorce.
And Elan, you should see what some of the guys in our church were like before God got a hold of them. Talk about nite and day. Learn to read your bible, the more you know about God, the greater things He will do in your life. Promise
God Bless
singleguy

I believe you should have faith, but I believe you should also use wisdom. The bible talks about a angry man quite a lot in Prov. and the
rest of the Word. If you give it time and your husband proves himself to you, then you will know. You got battered before, did God protect you? He is now protecting you the husband is away, I don't know if its a good idea to let him back in so soon. Please seek His will.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Give it a year or so. Then you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt weather he will batter you again or not. I'm really serious about this, and very concerned for you.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Good words Singleguy (as usual! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ).

Elan, there is a very, very powerful testimony of a man named Raul Reiz. He married a woman, Sharon, who was a strong Christian woman. I can't remember if he claimed to be one when he married or not... I think he did. But as the marriage went on, he became extremely abusive... verbally, physically, and having affairs. He constantly derided and yelled at his wife and also hit her occassionally. She loved him and she loved God and most of her "fighting" back was through fervent prayer, fasting, and drawing near to the Lord. She did not want to divorce because she loved him and also, she did not want her kids to have divorced parents. She ALWAYS sought God and He protected her.

Finally, though, it was so bad that she decided she was going to take the kids and leave. So, he came home one day, knowing she was leaving, her bags were there packed, and he got his gun, waited for his wife and kids to come back from church with plans to kill them. I mean, he was very violent and full of rage! Well, he just happened to turn on the t.v. during this time in which he saw Chuck Smith (founder of Calvary Chapel church) and he was giving a salvation message. Something broke in Raul and he began weeping and turned to God! Anyways... long story, but since then, they have been married like 26 yrs, have been missionaries, started churches, and led thousands of people to the Lord!

That is just one story though. And they didn't divorce. I do know people who've changed and I've heard or read many testimonies. Myself, personally, to be honest, I only personally know of one friend whose husband was alcoholic, she separated from him (but would not divorce him despite people telling her to and telling her that he'd never change), and 3 mos. later, he returned and has been sober ever since (that was years ago).

Personally, in my own personal life, I don't know of many reconciliations or even divorces (in my family or friend's lives). I don't know of any abusive person either. I only personally know one man who committed adultery. But I have never really thought of reconciliation after divorce until about 11 mos. ago when my husband divorced me. I was like everyone else... divorce was final, adultery was unforgiveable, and I never ever suggested reconciliation, etc. I honestly haven't witnessed too many divorces until now when I have offered myself to help others after my own experience (now I have some prayer partners and friends I've met going through divorce).

There are many testimonies of changed lives at www.restorem.org (with regards to divorce and remarriage), esp. if you consider adultery a form of "abuse" which I believe it certainly is "abusive".

We don't know much about Paul's (in the Bible) marriage or even if he was married, but we do know that this was a man who was abusive, murderer, and all sorts of awful things. People would surely say he had a corrupted character and unchangeable. But, as we know, he did change because God got ahold of him.

So, I certainly don't believe Amber needs to offer herself as a punching bag ("here I am, abuse me"), but I do believe that people can change... yes, even after divorce. ALL people... adulterers, abusers, murderers, etc. By the wonderful grace of God that is given to all people. And by the power of prayer.

I beleive that a well-qualified, Christian counselor or pastor who knows her and her husband (as we do not here... we do not know the extent of abuse, the circumstances, etc) can give her some good guidance and help... I very much hesitate telling anybody on these forums what they ought or ought not to do as far as specifics. I think we all need to be careful with the advice we give. Encouragement, admonishmont, Biblical advice... good... but to tell someone specifics of what they ought to do when we don't know these people... I guess I see it alot happening in here and it often disturbs me.

God bless.

Hello again my friend Singleguy:

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He hates divorce the VERY SAME as HE hates murder </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good word. I just wanted to add that sometimes; "the letter of the law kills" but "the spirit gives life". My point is that when we as mere humans put "our" spin on "God's" will, we get into trouble. You are right, He hates divorce, but there are many other things He hates.
He hates violence and bitterness and rage and abuse as well.

I notice LovemyEx gives sound advice when she always says to seek God and His will. We can never go wrong if we sincerely seek God and HIS will for our lives. Regardless of what the "evidence" is. People DO change. I have also witnessed that change many times over. Especially in my own life. I know the power of prayer. Sadly we all have free will to allow that change or not. Only God Himself knows if this man will surrender to His work in his life or not. Only God. We can only speculate. Ladysheep has sound counsil as well, I believe, when she cautions to let the fruit show itself. That's not a lack of faith to me, that's just being wise.

Blessings,
Diamonzzz

Hey diamonzzz, lovemyex, and ladysheep!!!!
When a guy surrounds himself with beautiful, wise, Proverbs 31 women, how can he lose!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
By the glory of God and the blood of Jesus, we shall arrive. I am so thankful that none of us by ourselves has all the answers. But that the good Lord uses each and all of us to council and encourage. You girls hearts are like a breath of fresh mountain air to the hurting and I thank God for each of you!!! I know a gift when I see one!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
God Bless each of YOU!!!
singleguy

Hey Singleguy?? May I presume? Are you praying for God to bring you your very own "gift"? God is good my friend, I wish I could share openly about what He did for me in bringing me my husband. I just felt I wanted to encourage you tonight to hang in there......she's on her way .. she'll be worth the wait ..

Diamonzzz <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

ambermh,

I am sorry for your situation, and I truly hope that God's plan for you includes a restoration of your marriage if that is what you both truly want.

I had been on the MB last week, talking about how I was regretful for my own part in the mistakes of our relationship and that my H wanted to divorce when he returned home. About a day and a half before he got home, he announces to me that I can really give up, because there is someone else and she is with him now. All this after four months of physical absence from his family for military reasons, and having his children thinking until less than 24 hours before he returns to town that he's coming home to be with us.

I now am very angry and hurt that the man who said he "loves" me brought this woman half way across the country so they can "be together" and "make a go of it" while we're still married. I know in affairs you make this sort of stuff OK in your own mind, because I've done it. But, I never EVER introduced another person to my kids and tried to make it OK. Especially not while we're still married.

My 7 year old is very vocal and emotional about the situation, and has told his dad that he should just "quit fighting, and love momma, and be married, and DEAL WITH IT. And tell Alex to go home because her car even says this isn't her home (has Virginia plates)." Pretty sad when a 7 year old has to tell an adult to quit being stupid and start thinking. My 10 year old son just cries, and asks me, "Does this mean Dad's never coming home, Mom?" I just answer that I don't know exactly what it means, but it sure doesn't look good. Then I tell them that perhaps they need to talk to Daddy about it. I feel cheated not only for myself, but for them, and I don't like how he's gone on with his life and I have to make it right for the kids and pick up their little broken hearts.

The worst of it is, if she wasn't in the picture, I probably could have gotten past all this. Now I feel stuck in going forward with a divorce I was fighting so hard to prevent, because I have been embarrassed by my husband's poor decision making skills in our very small town, which everyone knows everyone else's business. I hate him for the things he's doing to his family and his children, I hate her for knowing the situation and still moving here after barely knowing my husband. And the shame of it isn't that the two of us have had multiple PA's; it is the fact that the two of us have never considered what would happen to the boys and their feelings at exactly the same time. One of us was being selfish, and the other was thinking of the family. The real sucky deal is that we both admit we still love one another.

I don't know what to think right now, it is all so fresh and YUCKY for me. I want to hate this woman, but she is kind to the boys when they're around. Perhaps he isn't the one living in fantasy world; maybe I have just been unwilling or unable to accept that I am in denial and hanging on to the past, not looking at reality.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent.

skip (Kathy)

Hey Diamonzzz,
Yes I am asking God for that certain someone to be my mate. But I have put a great burden on Him because I told Him I wanted one as good as Diamonzzz. He said He didn't know if He had ever made another one that good!!!! I said I wouldn't settle for anything less!!! That's why it is taking so long. Because he has to hand make this one.
You are a blessing Diamonzz. Don't ever forget that. You can always have that big hug from me!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
God Bless
singleguy

singleguy... thanks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I don't know anything about your "story" but was wondering if your wife is remarried. Or were you married to begin with? I was just curious. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I thank you all for your kind words, thoughtful insight, and sincere concern about my situation. To answer some of your questions:

Yes, I have received Domestic Abuse counseling, from a regular psychiatrist and from one in the church. Both helped me search within myself to be the person I am today, a year and a half after our separation. We separated 2/02, and divorced March 2003.

I have wholly healed from the abuse, I have forgiven and am able to forget, in order to move on and receive the blessings God has for our family. We are just now communicating to work on building a firm foundation in friendship. Whereas before, the order in our relationship was all wrong, according to God's word.

I've re-dedicated my life to Christ since this first began, and I have seen for myself the true miracles God can perform, in my life, if you let Him in. The day I fell on my knees and surrendered to His will was when my load was lighter, and my days got brighter! Sounds corny, but it's the truth! I've never been at such a great peace, and it's because of my growing relationship with God, fellow Christians, and my obedience to do His will.

I don't know of any men that have changed, from being batterers. I do have faith that God will work that miracle. I have tried dating, and it's not in my heart. I've expressed that to my ex-husband, and he feels the same way.

I am expecting a change in my ex-husband and I know it will happen. I had to pray that God change me first. Yes he has some proving to do, in order for me to feel safe with him, and only God knows when that will happen. God brought us together for a reason, and I want to see God's will be done in our lives. I want our testimony to help others believe in Christ, and hopefully that will bring them to the Lord.I believe, ultimately, that is our main purpose on earth - "to lead individuals to a relationship with Jesus Christ. And to grow to become conformed, commited, contributing followers of Him." (That's a part of the mission statement from my church)

My walk and talk are different, and my ex-husband sees that. Why did God bring this situation to our lives? I say it's because He saw the changes that needed to be made in both our lives and maybe this was the only way it would happen. We are both waiting until he completes his Batterer's program before we move to any other levels, but friendship is first and foremost since we have a child together. For us, that's a step in the right direction. I pray that he get something out of those sessions, and I know God's doing a work in his life, as He has done in mine.

I am truly thankful for all of your words, because I know only God placed them in your heart to write me. Lovemyex, are you in a ministry at church? You have a very keen knowledge of the bible.

Amber, I don’t know what to tell you about your husband. Let me put my two cents in. It is natural in us mortals to ascribe all kinds of things to God. Like “God wants me to stay salvage my marriage.” Well, maybe, or maybe your own intense feelings are leading you to project your desires onto God. Just a thought. Just think of the Children’s crusade where God told people to send children to fight against the Moors, and hundreds of children died.

God would never tell you to put yourself in needless peril. Period.

As to Single Guy’s argument: Nowhere is divorce condoned as the first choice, but… in all major faiths, there are circumstances where divorce is allowed. Infidelity is always one, and abuse is another. It would not be a sin for you to divorce your husband if he continues to harm you or your child. In fact, the sin would be in remaining in harm’s way, and leaving your child in harm’s way.

As creations of the Creator, it is not to us to commit suicide or harm ourselves. We belong to him. And as His stewards it is up to us to care for all of God’s creations, including ourselves. We are his instruments.

Recklessly endangering your physical welfare and your child’s would be poor stewardship.

Just to be clear… I’m not saying God does or doesn’t want you to reconcile with this man. I wouldn’t know. But, an all Good God would never want you to recklessly endanger yourself.

So, move very slowly in reconciliation. Get proof your husband has changed and is committed to the change. Ask to have the psychiatrist release information to you on your husband about his ability to control his violence.

Go cautiously. Take care of God’s creations: you and your child.

Thank you green gables. I must address one more thing. When I say that God has spoken to me, that is something un-natural and of the Holy Spirit. It is never something I have 'wanted." I seek to have God's will done, and I will continue to allow God to lead my path, as He has never misled me. I respect your point of view, but there is always something bigger than myself out there that tells me to follow suit on this situation. I got out of the situation because I felt we were in danger. I also know that God did not give me a Spirit of Fear, but of Love and a Sound Mind. With that being said, I am secure in my faith and belief that there will be a testimony shared once this is all said and done. Whether it means I will restore the marriage or not, only God can continue to be the source that knows othe endall! He also uses people as His source of wisdom so the things I may not see can be received thru your words. I do thank and appreciate you Green Gables! God Bless.

Thank you green gables. I must address one more thing. When I say that God has spoken to me, that is something un-natural and of the Holy Spirit. It is never something I have 'wanted." I seek to have God's will done, and I will continue to allow God to lead my path, as He has never misled me. I respect your point of view, but there is always something bigger than myself out there that tells me to follow suit on this situation. I got out of the situation because I felt we were in danger. I also know that God did not give me a Spirit of Fear, but of Love and a Sound Mind. With that being said, I am secure in my faith and belief that there will be a testimony shared once this is all said and done. Whether it means I will restore the marriage or not, only God can continue to be the source that knows othe endall! He also uses people as His source of wisdom so the things I may not see can be received thru your words. I do thank and appreciate you Green Gables! God Bless.

<small>[ September 25, 2003, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: ambermh ]</small>

Hi Amber,

No, I'm not currently in ministry. I am still very much healing from my divorce (and seeking reconciliation like you), but I have been in ministry before and have been a Christian for about 14 years. But, the past, well, about 5-6 years, I have still been a Christian, even in ministry a few of those years, but not really walking closely with God. Not obeying in all things, not spending time with Him through prayer and studying the Word. It took this divorce to cause me to really return.

I am not sure how to put into words what I felt/thought when reading your reply other than I truly see the Lord doing a good work! I truly see Him in your words and I do believe with all my heart that He is going to bless and honor you.

There was a testimony I read... I can't remember where but it might of been here (I think it might have been a woman named "Gentle"... she is very godly). Her husband divorced her and she has sought reconciliation (3 yrs. now and he is very close to 'going home'). Well, at one point, she had no home for her and her daughters. She prayed, others prayed, and nothing was working out. She also could not afford much. She was not demanding child support, etc. and was trusting God to provide. Well, nothing was working out even though she kept praying and then she finally found a trailer that was somewhat a reasonable price. Well, around this same time, her pastor called and said, "How would you like a house for free?" There was a couple who needed someone to live in and take care of their home (they were going somewhere). Not only were there 3 bedrooms, a big backyard, but also no rent. She was able to work part time so she could be with her kids as a mom as a result and she realized God said "no" to everything else because He was saving this for her.

I firmly believe that God provides and will provide when we walk in faith and trust Him, and this is an inspiring testimony of how He does that for us.

I truly believe that we must apply wisdom in our life... and that wisdom needs to come from the Word of God, because God's wisdom is so vastly different than the world's "knowledge"... and I also believe that we also must also walk in faith and trust the Lord. While we apply wisdom to situations, we also apply prayer and faith in the Lord. Many things look absurd in the world's eyes. Reconciling with an "abuser" certainly seems absurd to most. But God's ways are different and higher.

I don't know personally of any batterers who've changed either, BUT I honestly don't think I've ever known a single batterer personally so that really doesn't say much! I do know though that the Apostle Paul was a batterer type of guy (he helped stone David and put innocent Chrisitans to death), and boy did he change. I also know that King David committed murder... and he was a Chrisitan man... but he repented and changed. I know of testimonies of changed lives. Like the Auca Indians who a man named Jim Elliot evangelized? Have you heard of him? Him and 4 other guys went to this very, very savage tribe of Indians in Ecuador to bring the gospel to them. Well, in the end, the Indians killed the men. HOWEVER... (now this is truly forgiveness in action!!) the wives stayed and witnessed to the very people who killed thier husbands! As a result, many of those people received Christ! There is NOTHING too difficult for God! Especially when we as Believers are walking in obedience, in righteousness, in faith, and in prayer. I also have read many testimonies of men who've committed adultery and are now serving God wholeheartedly, thankful for wives who forgave them. And I know what the Word of God says.

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners... of whom I am the worst." (1 Tim. 1:15)

"Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon." (Isa 55:6-7)

I also know that because I too am a sinner, no different than your husband, that I am capable of abuse, adultery, murder. It is only by the grace of God that I have not done those things because my heart is just as sinful as any sinner. I can condemn no one because I am no better and it is only Christ's blood and forgiveness that has set me free.

God does not favor anyone. He does not offer grace to one person and not to another. If it is "impossible" for your husband to change, then God is not an Almighty, all-powerful God. Neither is He a very loving God if He has condemned your husband to a life as an abuser and made it so that it is "impossible" for Him to change. I don't believe that. I believe the whole Gospel message is about change and freedom from sin and forgiveness and restoration (from our sinful state to walking with Christ). If God(Jesus) can raise the dead, can heal the blind and lame, can cast demons out of people.... well, can't He certainly also set free your husband? I believe He can and that He wants to. It is Satan who decieves and lies and wants to keep us in bondage to sin. Your prayers, your love, your faithfulness, your righteousness are weapons that are fighting the battle for the life of your husband. It is a spiritual battle in which Satan wants his life destroyed. He wants him to live as a condemned man with the title "abuser." He does not want the testimony of a restored man or restored marriage. You are fighting a spiritual battle and I encourage you to keep fighting (with the armor of God).

Be blessed and I will pray for you, your husband, and marriage! May He bring healing, repentance, and restoration.

Read this verses below. Now, really read and think about what they are saying.

"Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor theives nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slandereres nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (Well, that includes a whole lot of sinful people!... BUT look at the next verse ---->) "And that is what some of you WERE!!!" (This indicates that they WERE these things and have changed and are no longer these things!). "But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

Also... 1 Tim. 1:13-16 (Paul is talking), "Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a VIOLENT man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Chirst Jesus came into the world to SAVE SINNERS-- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."

There you have it! Even the worst of the worst can change and DO change! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Keep praying for your husband and I will pray too.

Sorry so long!!