My wife and I have had problems on and off over the past few years. A lot of the problems have been a result of my not telling her what's bothering me. I have a hard time expressing my feelings especially when something is bothering me. I tend to keep it bottled up and then we have an argument and I bring out all these things that bothered me and she has no idea. <P>Well, this happened a few days ago and she packed up the kids and left for her mom's house. We spoke on the phone last night and I got myself to admit to her that I have been unhappy for a long time. I have never told her that and I know it hurt her to hear it. I thought about putting my thoughts in a letter (I know I should tell her personally but even if I tried I can never seem to put the thoughts together) and explain as best I can what I have been thinking and what my feelings have been all these years. Should I put it all out on the line and see what happens or not tell her the things that are going to hurt her?<P>Thanks for reading and responding.<P>:-(

You DO need to be honest. But, try not to be brutal. In other words, clothe your honesty in caring, not in angry outbursts, or disrespectful judgements. Do not dismiss her feelings, but do express yours (calmly).<P>Good article:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_honesty.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_honesty.html</A> <P>

Thank you. I don't know how I missed that portion. I looked over the site ( I thought I did fairl well ) but missed that.<P>:-(

There's a lot here, it is easy to miss something.<P>Post back if you need any help or feedback (however...this bb has little traffic, if you have more q's you might want to pop in to the Emotional Needs bb area).<P>Best of luck!<P>Kathi