my daughter separated from her husband due to domestic violence(physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual abuse). She left her college and is presently staying with us during this transition. He was unwilling to come back to his home roots to work on the marriage with a counselor until just recently. Our fears are that he will continue to try to control her. Please let us know any information that my help her. Her counselor is in agreement with her separation and is going to try to help them both when he returns. She sometimes says she wants him completely out of her life because she wonders if it is really possible for him to change his violence towards her. Is it?

It is possible but only with God's help. All things are possible through God. Godly counceling (therapy not just a counceler for him and her)would not hurt. I do not know how religious you are but if you believe the bible there are specified reasons a person can get a divorce abuse is not one of them. Although some speculate that it is strongly implied in the bible that abuse is a reason for divorce. But even if the spouse commits one of these acts we are allowed not commanded to divorce. The best advice I have ever heard regarding abuse is that physical protection comes first and that they should separate physically but do everything it takes to work this out and not give up on their marriage. God hates divorce. Hope this helps.

December, <BR>I send you & your daughter love & prayers. I'm sorry you are going through this!! But I'm thankful she is safe away from his physical abuse and can find peace from the other abuses. <P>I'm going thru the same thing but haven't left my spouse yet, though I should have a long time ago. He has been confronted by pastor and therapists but refuses to change.<BR>I have done everything I can possibly do. <P>God is the strength of my life inspite of this chaos, and I know He can be there for you all too. <P>God is able to work a miracle in any heart and relationship that is open to him. I hope your son-in-law is not hard-hearted and that the separation will awaken him to his problem. He should spend much time in counseling, work on himself, even attend a Harley seminar, then prove to be a changed man before she would ever return to him. <P>I pray your daughter is getting the support she needs.<BR>Besides the Lord in my heart, I have done lots of reading that has helped in my recovery and I've had the support of people at this site. <P>I pray your situation works out. Hugs to you!!<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Renae (edited August 26, 2001).]