Hi all, Im new and please be patience with me, english is my second language. I will try to resume this the best I can.

I need help Im being married for 6 years, in reality there were 3.

My story - Part 1

Got married in 97, had my first child in 98 {I know to soon, but i really dont believe in abortion}
Got pregnant for the second time when my first child was only 6 months old {I know to soon, believer or not I was using bcp}. When my second child was 3 months old I found out my first child was add and have some autistics characteristics plus my high school sweetheart , only boyfriend, husband was starting and affair with a coworker.

This was to devastating for me, too much in only 2 years, I tried to talk to him about counseling, because I actually believe that living with a pregnant woman for 2 years wasnt easy, I actually took responsability of my fault, but he told me he love me but was out of love with me.

I tried to explain him that all marriages has ups and downs and is was normal to feel out of love with a woman who works, is pregnant and get home to do the chores, I wasnt romantic and neglet him a little but that with communication we can work that, he said no, the OW was his other half.

So I told him to leave, find out that in my hometown I could get Speech, ocupational therapy for my kids, so I told him and we decide together that it was best for him that we move, {me and 2 kids} so I move to another country.

Part 2
after 2 months he came back telling me that it was the worst mistake is his lifeand he wanted to moved with us. I said OK but 2 conditions. First we have to go to caunseling, and second I have to be more involved in our finances because i didnt know what was going on, and agree in geeting back

Well, It was hard for him to find a job after 9/11 so the waiting was for 20 months, We were ok he will travel to see us evry 6 months, we have up and down because I didnt trust him to much, but anyway he find the job and move, and I was the happiest person in the world, only for 3 weeks.

After 3 weeks he start to said that he didnt like the job, that the other one was better, he wasnt doing anything to get MC so I check our common email address for the first time in 6 months and BOOM, Another OW was already planning to visit him and I snape told him to live
that if he wasnt committed to this marriage then to live, he said that I was crazy that there is no OW.

2 w after this I found out I was pregnant call his work and they said he was traveling for the weekend, so he went to see her, after that evrything has been so UGLY. He actually told me to abort and ask for DNA. [All these time I been working with my son, I dont even go to movies anymore, and Iam proud to said that of 6 Autism char. he only have 1 left]

We are being separate for a year ago, My son is 6 months and is the most amazing boy, he gave me love and happiness in some amazing ways.

3 weeks ago was our child support hearing and he start to talk about getting back under HIS conditions, tells me i am distroying this family.

Problem: I dont know if he wants to get back for the high Child Support he was giving or for what.

I love my husband depply but I do not trust him and I lost faith in him

Any advice will be appreciated.

Sorry for the long post.

Thanks.

Sorry I meant he will visit us evry 6 weeks

Majoli1,

Weekends are slow around here. So don't despair. People will answer. Welcome and sorry you have to be here.

A couple of questions. Obviously the child is his from what you wrote.

Are you living in your own country now?

Will your family help you raise your three children if your h. disappears?

Have you read the entire web site? Basic Concepts, articles and questions and answers?

I'm thinking about you. I'll post more later.

One more question, what is your culture? For example, are you latin, arab, oriental? Sometimes there are big cultural differences and what would work in the States and Canada would not work at all.

Greengables

Hi and thanks for answering me.

Yes I am back home, yes my family has already helping me for this year, he already disapeare,, actually Im living with my parents since H didnt pay water and electricity and I have to move from my apartment.

Im from PR, which means I am latin with a lot of Spanish and American culture traditions but legal system is the USA legal system.

Yes, al my childrens are his.

I know this is the best decision for me and the kids but he plays with my emotions and said that I am destroying this family. He do not want to go to MC, he love me for one week, insulted me, tells me I was the worst thing in his life {but I was the one who help him do his master}.

The problem he knows I love him and abuse for that, I need to take him out of my heart but I do not know how to do it.

Thanks