got a job after 14 yrs of staying home with our son, it was X who wanted me to stay home & be a full time mother & wife. be 50 in Jan & starting over with a new job and life. Our son was thrown into a life of being alone while mom works. Son said he is proud of me, being there for him, finding a job. was a nurses aide long ago & wasnt sure I could do that type of work again, have carpol tunnel in both hands, buritis in hip, asthma. was hired as soon as I walked in. Job has a lot of lifting but God has been with me. was employee of the month for Sept. have 9 women I take care of, & love doing it. They are my new famiy. Was told last week that my mamogram shows another spot, not sure if its scar tissue from the last 2 operations or something new. Its strange but it didnt brother me. Im not afraid anymore, at peace with my new life. I know I can handle anything that is thrown at me in life. X thought I would just fall apart but I came back strong. not the same person that X married. now take charge of my life, no more controling from X. X can now be in control of OW life, let him tell her who she can be friends with or what to buy. After looking back at our M over the yrs. can see how controling X was & still cant understand why I let him use me like that. I thought it was love. did a lot of growing up after the D, in time you forget about X, the hurt they caused you. you will find a new begining with hope. My son tells me he loves me everyday, & is proud of me working. I thank God everyday for his blessings. Without God I could not have made it.

m-almost 18 yrs.
x-44, me-49
d-5-22-02
c-14, 30, 8yr & 3 month granddaughters

I hear you. I know what you mean.

I was 39 when my x left. I had a 2yo s and a 4yo d. And I had not worked in 4 years. My son was not a child who would have done well in day care. I stayed home as long as I could and finally, when he was in kindergarten took a 4 day a week job.

At 45, I took my first full-time job in 11 years. I am now doing the same work I did in the mid-80s. And I am earning what I earned in 1990.

Not an upwardly mobile financial life.

But I have a roof over our head and we do have clothes (albeit, usually used clothes) and we look ok. Sometimes, I feel like I cut corners so well that we live in a circular house and drive a circular car and eat circular food. But we are happy and have peace.

A couple of years ago, I got the notice there was something there in my mamogram. The week of Christmas. So they got me in for the follow-up mamogram and found it was the same thing they had found 5 years earlier (why they didn't tell me about it then, I don't know). So, now, I have to tell them we need to go all the way to the chest wall and if they don't see the spot, keep looking. (You know, if men who work in medical insurance and research had to have these things, there would be easier ways to do these checks. Don't you just wish they had to have routine penigrams?)