I promise I will keep this short...

2 1/2 weeks ago, I came home for lunch and my wife was sobbing. I asked her what was wrong, and she explained to me that she is unhappy--with herself (she hates who she is with me), with our marriage, and with me. When I asked her what she wanted to do about it (hoping she would want to seek counseling or something similar) she said she wanted a divorce. She said that there was nothing I could do to change her mind, it was already made up. She would not agree to go to counseling, would not agree to talk about it with me, would not agree to do anything except leave.
Our short marriage of almost 2 years has not been the perfect union. We have had problems that I suspect are fairly normal in all relationships, but none that I can think of ever that seemed serious enough for this to happen.
She moved out the very next day, and has not changed her tune in the least bit. For at least the first week, I was begging her to come back, and begging her to go to counseling with me.
She finally agreed to go to a counseling appointment with me, and it was the worst experience of my life. I found out that the things that are bothering her in our marriage are both current and ancient history! She brought up things that happened 2 weeks into our marriage that she can't forgive me for -- example: We got pregnant before we were married and she made me swear not to tell a soul. I kept that promise (though it was very difficult because that was the most exciting time in my life). When she finally agreed that we could tell people of our pregnancy, she wanted to lie about how far along we were, and what the due-date was etc. I told a group of my friends that we were pregnant and they asked how far along, and without thinking I told the truth. I realize that was a mistake, but I am not a dishonest person by nature, and the truth is something that just comes out of me without thought. Of course, they did the math, and my wife thinks that all our friends think she is a whore and such.
There's an example of the types of things she is holding against me. After the counseling appointment, she told me that the only reason she even went to counseling was to say these things in front of someone else.
She says she doesn't love me. She says she never did, but she was only in love with the idea of getting married. Everyone that knows us would tell you that is an outright lie. She did love me, we loved each other, I still love her...
This past weekend, when she was dropping our son off to me, she informed me that no amount of counseling and no amount of time apart is going to change the way she feels. She would just like to divorce as soon as possible.
I don't know really why I am posting this. I've never posted anything like this before, I guess I would just like to know from total strangers if this is as hopeless a situation as I feel like it is.
If you read all of this, thanks...
Please let me know what you think. Is it hopeless?

Sorry to say, but I'd bet a VERY LARGE aount of money she's having an affair.

Is it hopeless?
Absolutely not.

Take a deep breath, go slow & read the links below.

Be patient give her space and just try to listen to her. the truth will come out. This is not hopless read everything you can on this site and do a plan A.

read about me, so sorry too late, i too don't want a divorce, but i filed, i had to. He moved out...well its in my story. I am new here so I don't have much good advice. But i feel your pain, all i do is cry.

don't,

You haven't checked in, how are you doing? Give us an update over the past few days!!!

Have you been able to read the things on this site and the links that Chris gave you? Alot to do, I know specially when you are hurting like you are at this time!!!

Write out your plan A so that you have a map, so that you can refer back and see conrete changes.

Come back and let us know how it is you are doing!!! We welcome you here to MB and want you to know that you have found a good place to be and friends that understand and can support you through this, if you let us!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Don'tWantDivorce,
I am so sorry for this upsetting time in your life. Divorce is truly a very heartbreaking and devestating thing, even for those who "want" it. I hope and pray that your wife softens towards you and does not divorce. I do not know if you are a Christian or not, but I would like to encourage you that God can see you through this and that He can turn things around. There is nothing too difficult for Him... including divorce and thwarting people's plans (like your wife's current plans). Obviously, I cannot tell you what the future holds for you... but I can tell you that God is for your marriage and I do pray that it does not end in divorce (and IF it does, I pray that it is then reconciled). I have to tell you something, and I might get blasted for this, but this particular website is... well... diverse I guess is the word. There are some who will encourage you to hope and others who will say forget it. Please guard your heart in all that you hear from others, whether from a website or friends. MANY people will tell you to just deal with it, accept it, or they will put down your wife and tell you that you "deserve better," etc. All of those things are wrong and bad advice. There are two websites I'd like to recommend. They are run by Christian couples (whose marriages ended in divorce... the man committed adultery... and after 2 years of prayer, etc., the couples remarried! Wow!) Anyways... if you feel led to do so, please see www.restorem.org and www.rejoiceministries.org.

I, for one, do not think in any way that your marriage is hopeless! I have read MANY testimonies of couples who were in your situation (or worse) in which one person was saying very similar things like "I never loved you" or "I will never change my mind," etc... but later, these couples reconciled.

So, no, your situation is not hopeless at all, although some people might say it is (don't listen!!) and you will be tempted to believe that it is. But it's NOT.

Again, I am truly sorry because I have been there... and I know the pain, the fear, the panic, all the emotions that just threaten to overwhelm you. I would encourage you to see those sites and to also post on the prayer request forum on this website.

May God be near you during this time and may He give you wisdom, strength, and comfort.