I have been married for the last 2 years 4 months to a beautiful woman that 3 months ago said move out or I will file for divorce. Her reasons are that I'm not emotionally strong enough for her and her 5 kids. That our arguments are destroying her children and if they weren't there she wouldn't be asking for this and would stick it out with me. She claims to be a devout christian but will not go to a christian counselor and rejects anything that doesn't line up with her thinking. She claims I was abusive yet when we had gone to a counselor and he witnessed an argument first hand he felt she was. Six months ago she had me sign a "contract" she made up saying if I was abusive as determined by a counselor I would move out until such time a counselor would deem it safe for me to return and that during my absence I would pay her $675 a month for maintenance. I signed it without hestation. Of course she has not tried to collect on this because she never had a reason for asking me to leave by her contract. My counselor suggested I don't leave without a written seperation agreement so I wrote one up very basic saying that this is a temporary situation and we will go to counseling individually for 90 days and after that time we meet with our seperate counselors to work out how to progress and this is all being done for the restoration of our marriage. She refused to sign it and finally wrote a letter saying she would agree that we will meet after 90 days with our counselors present. 2 weeks after I'm out she informs me that things are so peaceful at home and the kids are so much different that she cannot see us getting back together until they are all out of the house. This goes back to when we first got married and we hadn't moved into one house yet and she was saying the kids just won't be ready for this. The youngest is 11. I told her I am not willing to wait that long and she can not come up with any biblical reason for this seperation or a divorce. She doesn't care. It is what ever the kids want. She has always told her teenage daughters everything; where the finances are;what our arguments were about of course it was always framed (what I was arguing about) not what we were arguing about and how she is feeling about anybody and anything. My counselor says she is in an adultrous relationship with her children emotionally and she has to get things in the right order before we can procede. She tells me that she is trying to rid herself of any emotinal feelings for me. I told her that is divorcing me. She will not accept that. She says she will not file because she doesn't want her teenaged daughters to think badly of her. Our pastor says he knows she wants to work it out but it may take a while and to just let it go and forget about her and if she comes back she does. My understanding of scripture doesn't allow me to give up. As you can tell I'm pretty confused on what to do. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ October 07, 2003, 10:35 PM: Message edited by: Hurt & Hoping ]</small>