Youngest Daughter needs braces, well so did the other two. But the youngest is costing alot more $$$ then the other two did.

Asked xH for help, the insurance doesn't cover it all, says that he cannot afford to.

He pays child support and alimony and says that it will have to come out of this money.

Is he obligated to pay half of the cost? The DV decrees does not have anything specific in regards, that I can find. So I am asking my friends!!! What do you think?

Thanks for your replies!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 20, 2003, 11:45 PM: Message edited by: daybreak ]</small>

My paperwork says 50% of any non covered medical charges... ? What state are you in?

Daybreak - I had braces written right into my divorce agreement - Maybe if you talk to him some more - and tell him that you really need some help and it isn't fair to your daughter if she doesn't get the braces because of finances - maybe he will give a little - Who knows it is worth another shot --- Right???

my paperwork says any non covered medical and dental expenses based on ability to pay....

also for my girls I had a payment plan where it was about $125 a month......

<small>[ October 09, 2003, 10:02 AM: Message edited by: GSN ]</small>

I had typed a response to xH back on Tues or Wed, decided not to respond right away so held the letter in a draft form. xH doesn't respond promptly when I need something so decided it would be fair for me to set on the response for awhile. I worked very hard on the letter so that it said only what it needed to.

I needed to go look at the DV decree one more time (It's amazing I find something new everytime I read it) xH has to pay 77% of anything not covered by insurance. So today I re-wrote my response including this info and stated that my orginial proposeal didn't sound so bad after all I am sure. After reading the decree I would only be responsible for $892, my proposal was for me to pay more then that. It's my daughter and I will not let her go without. I am not trying to be mean or gouge the x.

It is ironic how natural consequences continue to take care of things for me!! Thank you God!!!

Sent the e mail this morning and have not had a response back from x, probably won't here from him for the weekend.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

As you can see by previous post I sent the letter on the 10th, spoke with X on the 13th concerning YD breaking down and bawling that she misses her daddy. Did not bring up braces or e mail that had not be responded to. That was not what the call was about.

Understood that x was out of town on TDY and that he would have to get decree out and re read it when he got home. He has been back for a few days now and no response.

He called and spoke with the kids tonight, thought that he would ask to speak with me but did not.

I am kind of angry that he cannot respond, I would like to e mail him with something like........you can ignore me and the e mail that I sent but you cannot ignore the fact that you need to pay your share of these braces.

I've been so very careful not to let YD know anything about what is going. She is so excited to get her braces on. The braces will get paid for, that I am sure of.

On another note my YD is 12 yo and twice now this week she has just started bawling out of the blue that she misses her daddy, she did it yesterday again in church, am not sure what might be going on, lots of things that come to mind..........hormones, it's been almost 3 years since A hit the light of day, almost a year since divorce, hasn't seen dad since July, dad isn't calling on routine basis like he had been. I am really at a loss, I've tried talking with her and will offer her counseling. But I feel so helpless and very inadequate, that I am not good enough that she still wants her dad!!!
Any one with any thoughts I would appreciate some input!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dawn,

My youngest daughter is almost in the same position. They do miss their dads. My 12 year old also needs braces, she needs her eyes examined, and she just misses her dad. She has finally started communicating with him again. In fact, she called him on her own this weekend and told him about her soccer games--and ended up the message by saying "I love you daddy". Pretty sad.

In my case, he hasn't been paying his child support, including his 50% of medical bills that he needs to pay. We may lose our house...and she knows all that....but there will always be a hole which their dad should be filling. I am still amazed how someone could desert their own family and children. It is sad.

My ex keeps saying how resilient they are...but in reality, his choices have really hurt their foundation for life. I see this everyday with my kids and also with the kids I teach. I wish people would wake up to what they are doing to their kids. Oh well....I guess it is out of our control. You are doing fine--it is just that they need both of their parents. Take care Pat

Pat,

Thanks!!!

I've never told anyone, as I was so devasted that he would say something along these lines, but when he got ready to leave here in Aug of 2001 and knew that he was going to go see OW he said to me, "If anyone was going to make me change my mind, it would be 12yo" I thought how said to put that much on a 10 yo at the time.

I just sat and held her in church yesterday and cried right along with her. The sermon had to do with sin and how serious it is.

My daughter has her grandfather right across the street, my brother within 20 minutes and her older brother, so she has lots of male role models, her father is being so very selfish and he is the one that she wants, it seems so unfair sometimes, but I know and I understand that it's the daddy thing.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />