i've been here before but it has been about 4.5 years since the last affair. to make that a short story, h and i had been together 4 years and had a 2yo s when we married. immediately after marriage our expectations of each other were too high to meet and he found comfort for his needs with ow from work. i filed but dismissed it after i was able to turn our marriage around by focusing on his needs.

so jump to 4 years later and our s who is now 7 and moderately handicapped. my h and i reached an agreement that i would move w/s to another state where more services are available to meet his needs. h is supposed to move in a year. now it is 6 mos into our agreement and he not only doesn't want to come but requested a divorce. told me he doesn't care about the paper saying we are married. so, do i suspect another ow? probably. do i care? not anymore! i came back a week ago and told him we would move back here permanently and he is fighting w/me every step of the way. i have been here to fulfill most of his needs (not sexually yet, since he turned me down on the first approach and i won't try again till i understand why) but he is rejecting me over and over again.

i am ready to move back to where we were since it would be a nice fresh start for my son and i and my s gets excellent care there. should i be ready to give up so soon?

u,

I am sorry that your H is treating you the way that he is.

Welcome to MB, you said that you had been here before, so you know the basic concepts, POJA, Plan A, Plan B so on and so forth, I am going to tell you to go back and read those things again this time.

You ask what it is that you should do, no one can really tell you that that is something that you must decide for yourself, what is best for you and your son. You know the situation, you know whether you want to try again, it sounds like you do not have much trust in your H.

There are many people here, the situations are similiar but not exact, so it is hard to give you blanket advice. We can help you look at different options, give you our opinions, the things that we did and how they worked for us. You will have to take all of that and make your own decisions. Share with us a little bit of info. So that we are more informed and can share with you accordingly.

Again Welcome!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 14, 2003, 10:55 PM: Message edited by: daybreak ]</small>

u,

My story and yours are very similar, only that my h came to our country after 18 months to start over and I had 2children, 1 with mild autistic behavior, add and hyperactivity, after 6 weeks I found out that another ow was coming to visit him for 2 weeks.

It was horrible I kicked him out, he left, found out I was pregnant, today a year later I still alone with 3 kids.

Just thing evrything over, give him time before making harsh decisions, it is one thing saying that you dont care and are tired, but a diferent one when you do it. Be certain that you dont have any feelings or chances in your M.

I understand that your son is first, and that is perfect, but he is now confused, is not excused but he maybe felt lonely, and they think they loved the OW, but that is not a reality world and you deserved to figth to the end.

Do what you think is best for you and your child.

Best wishes