Today my h scream at me that he do not want to go to mc not even to ic.

So, why after all the terrible things this man has done to me I cannot let go?
Why, I still love him?
Why, I , the want that never has even think in having an affair, is the one trying to do evrything to make him understand that this is a mistake?

Why, I am so affraid of how much he is going to suffer when he matures and realize what he has done

I must be crazy to still being carrying and worring about him?

I know I deserve better, I know he is not going to change, I know is best for the kids to endure a divorce now, that they are little that when they became teenagers, I know this m is hopeless, so Why I cared?

Please someone explain that to me?

Thanks

Because you are a good person. Because he is in a place in which he cannot see his own actions and choices. Because you care more about him than you do about you.

It is how we all were, or almost all were at one time. I know that I would have done anything she had asked... and pretty much did during our short reconciliation. It is who we are... not everyone... but enough. Those that take the time to find this board... those that take the time to read.

Don't question yourself 'Why?'... you will not find an answer. Just try to make sense of the little things that you can control, and don't try to control those things you cannot. Love your children and realize that they will require everything you have extra right now. But don't forget yourself in this mess. Your children will need a parent who is capable and thinking of them. Part of that capability and thinking involves ensuring that YOU are healing and taking care of yourself. You cannot help others when you need the most help yourself.

Formely Confussed:

Thank you very much for answering me. I am a good person, and only god knows the efforts I make for my kids, they are too small but they are amazing. They are my confort, they make me bussy, they make me laugh a lot. I addored them, and thats why I am so mad. He is missing so much of these kids.

They loved him because i teach them, because I do not want their selfsteam to be damage. But sometimes I will want to have space to scream and cry.

The sad thing is that he abandoned us, they are not his priority, but he anyways will have the love of their children.

Sorry if I sound to crazy

Your poem at the end is absolutely beutiful, thanks