I tried long and hard to achieve a 'do it yourself' divorce, but I finally threw in the towel this week. I can't get cooperation from him. Even if I do something nice for him, he resists. I knew it was a long shot, but the benefits of saving on atty fees would be worth the effort if it had worked. Besides, I needed to get informed about divorce, which I did, but I still feel like I don't know much!

I found an atty who has a masters in psychology. He knows what passive aggressive behavior is, which is something I felt was necessary given my stbx's behavior. Papers were filed wednesday. Stbx was supposed to be served at work friday, but since I never got a confirmation from the process server, I'm not sure if it happened or not.

For those of you who filed and had the papers served, how did you find out that the service was complete? I'm a bit perturbed that I didn't get a status update yesterday. If my stbx did get served, I'm getting silent treatment.

LH:

Sorry to hear of your issues. I have had similar problems trying to get her off the "dime" about co-operating with divorce.

I finally filed with an attorney. Lawyers typically are very busy. Do not expect "personalized" service.
You will have to call and find out if the certified letter receipt typically sent has been signed and returned to your lawyer.

Usualy a letter of service accompanys the lawsuit paperwork.This letter normally must be signed and notarized by defendant. A defendant has a specified period of time to answer or file a motion indicating their intentions with the court.

I would wait a week or so, and then call your attorney and find out where you are in the process.

I guess one qustion I have is:
Are you expecting a reaction from your STBX? or your Lawyer?

My WW didn't react for weeks. Then it was a drunken phone call about how she misses me...blah...blah....blah...woof ...woof.

I know it can be hard but try to take care of yourself.

From my stbx I figured there were two likely responses to the papers -- a) he'd blow a gasket and spew every ounce of venom he possesses toward me, or b) he'd give me the silent treatment. His state of mind is not altogether stable imo, and even though the papers should not come as a surprise, I have concerns about him 'going off the deep end.'

The legal asst assured me the process server would contact me. As things turned out, it appears he was making a promise beyond his control. I spent all day friday waiting for a phone call that never came. That irks me, regardless of the circumstances. In the bigger picture, it doesn't really matter whether the papers were served or not served friday, as long as they do get served eventually. It feels like having a medical test done and then waiting in suspense for the results to come back.

LH:

I understand how you feel.The process is pretty much out of your control.I was impatient too, and it actually gave me time to again reflect and confirm why I was "firing" my wife. It will happen. (By the way it wasn't the infidelity...it was the continued lying and her expectations that I had to do all of the compromising and fixing...etc. ad nauseum)

I am at the point now where the final hearing is scheduled for one month from now. Believe me, once the divorce train leaves the station it will pick up speed. You will be at your final destination soon enough.

Be good to you!