Since our dv on Sept 03, I have heard nothing from x/h regarding the settlement of financial matters.

So since Sept 03 to date I have been in limbo regarding financial matters. In the meantime he has got engage or married to OW then went to Zanzibr on vocation. OW send a postcard to me and kids from Zanzibr - what a wonderful time they were having.

whilst I am having sleepless nights worrying about my finances and X/h not responding to atty's request to assist with the finalization of financial matters so that he can start paying maintenance. He stopped paying maintenance since dv.

Comes, Wednesday and all hell break loose. X/h calls me to arrange visitation for kids in December 03. I am unable to take his call as I am driving my car. He sends an e-mail, which is returned as we are having problems with our server at work. So for the first time in 2yrs contact he cannot get hold of me.

This sends him into a spin. He phones my therapist to tell therapist that I have cut all contact and therapist must speak to me. Therapist reminds him that we are dv now.

I get back to work goes straight into a meeting - Receptionist receives an anonymous call - A women enquiring whether I was at work and the comapny fax number. She says yes but omit to say that I am in a meeting.

Then the work fax starts going crazy -
He cancelled satelite tv with immediate effect.
Security patrol for our property cancelled
A whole analysis of the dv agreement <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Must be available 24hrs per telephone or cellphone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
He called the bank to find out how far I was with the transfer of the mortgage bond. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Everything just reek with anger.

Me, I am so indifferent to all this and I am finally at the stage when all his attics is like water off a ducks back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just received another fax - Asking me to read/study the dv agreement in detail.

Then he telephones me and ask for birth certificates of children. Complete Jekyll and Hyde personality - I am jovial over the phone and he is just as pleasant. This is a sick game.

I feel like sending him this e-mail now:

Dear C

Lighten up my darling - As far as I am concern the rules and regulation set out in the dv agreement regarding our precious children is but just legal garbage/terms.

We as their wonderful parents can decide accordingly what is in their best interest and regarding their holidays we as parents can determine when they visit and you must also keep in mind your financial sitch <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (Always complaining he is struggling financially)

As far as education me regarding the dv agreement - As the saying goes - "It is only a piece of paper" The happiness and joy of our children is far more important than this paper.

You have a wonderful evening.

From:

G - who got her groove back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Will this letter be a lovebuster - Since X/h became a WAH he is taking life so serious - I am starting to see the fun side of things

First, I hope you did NOT give him the birth certificates. And even if you did, PLEASE make sure that you get a court written order that he is NOT to take the children out of the country. He may be trying to do this, and some people just don't bring their kids back.

I live in Australia, and I can get a form here that explicitly states that I do not give my permission to allow the children out of the country, and if X ever tries that one, the Federal Police will be notified immediately. I suggest you do that too, if you can.

As for OW sending you a postcard....well, what a piece of trash. And take it as a positive sign, if she feels the NEED to tell you how wonderful things are, they probably aren't.

As for the email. Write one with that message, but no sarcasm. I would have loved to send many an email like that one to my X, but never did. I just plainly stated facts along the way, and edited, and re-edited to make them as unemotional as possible.

Yeah, once or twice I slipped up, but on the whole, I kept the emotion to myself. Since he left me thinking I was such a BAD person, I did not want to give him reason to say "See? I told you she was a (Insert word here that sounds like witch)!"

Love and light,

Jacky

Nina: I have already faxed the birth certificates to him. Thank you for warning me and I will definitely find out my rights regarding taking children out of country..

Apparantly he needed the certificates for BAA who has now tightened security around children flying un-escorted. I will follow this up with my SIL who is an air-hostess.

I do doubt it very much whether he will do such a thing as OW is not a children's person. She gave her x/h custody of her children. They lived with him for a year and then he most probably realised that x/h has money and send the kids back to her. Now I hear that her children is again coming back to their father next year..........

As for my kids she speaks as though she have time for them but her actions is different. X/h, is responsible for the kids from dressing to feeding. When he gets fed up he leaves everything to my 11yo D. Every holiday that my kids have been with them she is sick for part of it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

X/h phoned me last night to lambast for telling children that I do not have the money to have cable tv re-connectd. I asked him to tell me what I had to tell them. His version was exactly the same as mine but yet he says I am portraying him in a bad light. Told kids because we are dv now and dad pays a set amount of money there are some things that we will have to forego until such time I can afford it,

Kids wanted to know if OW's children is now also without cable tv and I said no. This made my 11yo angry. She asked him why they were getting everything whislt she and her sister must now suffer. He blamed me for it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Well, I've just about had enough. Told him that as of today all contact between us will be stopped unless it concerns the well being of the children. I will not tolerate any more abusive calls from him or OW regarding the upbringing of our kids and when he decides one day he wants to be a real father for our daughters that is the day I will accept calls from him again.

I have now blocked his e-mails, called the cell network to block his phone number from my phone and my employer has send him a legal notice that they will take legal steps against him if he continues sending personal faxes to me without informing me first. This morning I came to work and my dv agreement was laying next to the fax machine. This freaked my boss out.

Somehow, since my divorce I have this feeling of indifference towards him and I think he has noticed this.

Well, it is 5.17 here in my country and I need to go home to fetch my girls at aftercare.

Never thought I would reach this stage where there is no emotions, nothing, nothing, nothing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />