Sometimes my self-centredness amazes me..in a negative way, of course.<P>Yes, I have known it is difficult for my H (BS) in recovery. But today he made a remark that opened my eyes...maybe I knew this all along but never took the time to see it through his eyes.<P>I am almost certain OM stole my wedding/engagement rings. H lost a lot of tools which I had presumed due to his carelessness--he would take tools to repair things at church and not bring them home, knowing they would walk. But then tools from home were missing. During the A, H never accused OM who I foolishly thought very honest (ya, right, so honest we were betraying the pastor/<BR>my husband ) <P>This morning H told me he knew OM stole his special screwdriver for working on computers (OM total computer freak) and he thinks OM is the one who stole the most. <P>He said: FOR OM, IT WAS ABOUT TAKING THINGS THAT WERE MINE.<P>Why hadn't that occurred to me before? It really helps me to know how better to support/comfort/rebuild things with H. Maybe this sounds dumb and a rather delayed reaction after 6 mos in recovery! But so glad H can talk about things now.<P>I hope I will keep growing and become more inclusive of H in my thoughts/actions, etc. <P>So glad to be married to such a wonderful man after everything that happened. Tonight our family enjoyed a baseball game and H and I cuddled during part of the game (and our home team won! Woohoo!) <P>Even though things are painful to face from the past, today is so much better because of being in the truth and H wanting to keep things together at any cost.<P>Hang in there, friends. I pray things will improve for those who are struggling and esp tonight for WSs who know they need to reach out and feel overwhelmed how to begin. It's not like you must lose yourself totally but invest those credits into your mate's LoveBank. It can bring many happy returns <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start