On another thread you said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Either he has a medical problem, or he is having an affair. No man can go without sex, especially for months at a time. Sorry to say this to you. Good luck. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well last time I checked I was a man I'd say that I'm over a couple months without sex:

26.77 Months that's
803 days that's
19,272 hours that's
1,156,320 minutes that's
69,379,200 seconds

Great now I'm depressed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . As many from these boards can testify I'm not ugly and it hasn't been from lack of opportunity. Mine is a choice. My choice is to not have "meaningless" sex. I want the whole enchilada. First a friend, then a loving wife, then sex...... With any luck all three of those will be with the same person <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

With man nothing is possible but with God all things are possible.

<small>[ October 24, 2003, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: LostHusband ]</small>

Bill,

I admire your resolve to wait for the whole enchilada. I hope you get to have it soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Startingover was writing on my thread. My H is the one not wanting any enchilada's. It's good to know that it is possible to be a man and not have sex. But I have to ask you...Do you think it's possible to be a man and not want sex?

He has every opportunity and I'm not ugly either.
(By the way... I have three daughters also.) I'm very baffled by the whole thing. But then there are so many other issues in our sad little M.

But God is the God of the impossible. I have always loved that verse! God bless you!

My H doesn't want or can't have sex either. The last time we had intercourse was in July. His is probably caused by drinking, which has also had an effect on his fertility, which has caused alot of stress over the last few years When I tried to have sex with him the other night, it was a miserable failure. I, on the other hand, am a very sexual person, and I miss sex alot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Almost 3 months here myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> but that's due to WW, being separated, circumstances etc. It is the longest drought since I started and it doesn't look like rain for some time down the road he he <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hats off to losthusband, you got me beat hands down.

Leah2be-
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you think it's possible to be a man and not want sex? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Possible but rare I would say. Men are physical beings so there must be something blocking what is usually a high EN of ours.

Eternal- My M problems started over WW's infertility. I can't really imagine how they must feel.

(((Leah)))

I can't say that I disagree with his anology of your situation but I'm not big on generalzations like that.


(((EO)))

I'm an EXTREMELY sensitive, emotional, touchy/feely, sexual person too. And yes I miss sex A LOT, probably not as much as all the other little things like, sneaking a kiss, holding hands, caressing, cuddling, and all the other things.

God Bless you both.

Lost and others - I hear you! For me, it's been about 7 months without and usually only "mercy" sex from her for 23 years.

LostHusband.....I was speaking of those who are married. There is NO WAY I could go without sex from my wife for several days, much less weeks or months. If I were single......Yes, I could go without.....it would STINK!, but I would do it. Being married......no sex....means illness, or someone else. JMHO.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

803 days
Lightweight...

1739 days. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Chris -CA123:
<strong>

1739 days. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .........No way!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Either he has a medical problem, or he is having an affair.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Or he's gay.

I've wondered about that one too! In fact I confronted him with that thought. He was one ANGRY man that I would ever question if he was gay.

Physically, he is in great health. He's in his thirties and is very active. He has boundless energy and drive for his interests and business.

So... yes, one really has to wonder what the deal is. Any suggestions as to how I should respond or what I should do?

<small>[ October 24, 2003, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Leah2be ]</small>

Leah2be..........have you tried seduction on him?? Turn all the light out in the house, call him to the bedroom......have the whole room dark...except for candles around the bed......and you lay in the middle of the bed wearing only a smile. If he doesnt attack you........affair, or he is gay.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Startinover,
Yes, I've attempted seduction. I've done the whole routine. I had very little on besides a smile but even that didn't get his attention.

By the way, I'm still a size 4... same size as when we were married. I work hard to stay fit and take care of myself. I even bathe occasionally <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anyhow, thanks for the suggestion. I'm very open to trying anything.

That is unbelievable!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

The only thing I can offer is counseling.......this is beyond me. My wife did the candle thing.......and I almost broke my neck trying to get to her.

We have been in counselling before, but the issue has always been over the OW. I think it's time to deal with all of this.

When I've asked my H if he'd go to counselling,he's very reluctant. He says he'll go for me but not because he wants to. He says he doesn't think it will help us at all. Can counselling make a difference when he doesn't really want to go?? I wonder how productive our sessions would be if he isn't really wanting to be there. I guess its worth a try. We certainly aren't getting better on our own. Thanks again.

Listen to this Leah2be.......this girl I work with is divorced and remarried. She is a cowgirl and barrel races.....she has an awesome figure....her first husband would NOT touch her during their marriage. There are guys lined up to flirt with this girl......but, her husband would not touch her....WHY YOU ASK? She said he was having an affair. She also said, noone in a million years could have convinced her that he was cheating. Hmmmmmmm???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.....

As far as counseling, I'm sure there are those it helps who do not wish to go. If you think of how many spouses go willingly to counseling, I'm sure the numbers are low.

No semi normal relationship in which both spouses are healthy and love each other should go long without sex. Especially if it's the husband witholding.

Um Chris, I can't tip my hat off to you. I can only <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (((((FAINT))))) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I guess after so long it doesn't really matter anymore.

Startinover and Eduard- Yeah, I'm afraid he's quacking a lot lately. It's a definite possibilty.I'm just hoping if an A is going on, I will find out soon. I'm so ready to just move on,one way or the other. I'm trying to be patient for God's timing on this one.

This agony has been taking place for nearly five years now. He's there, he's not. We're recovering and working towards a m....then I find out he's talking to a "friend". The last two times, he's claimed it's nothing but a couple of phone calls or e-mails. Not affairs, but certainly not appropriate or trust building. I long for clarity and direction!! God knows, and I must trust Him with all that I don't understand right now.

Thanks so much guys for your input and suggestions. It's really appreciated!!!