H and I have been married for only 3 years, but it has become increasingly evident that he will never take the steps to deal with his alcohol abuse, and I can no longer go on in the relationship without him stopping drinking and going to a marriage counselor with me. I told him this about a month ago, and he agreed to counseling and said he would cut back. He has since renegged on the counseling and started up drinking again about a week ago.

I told him that I wanted to separate, and he said "move out", my response "I have kids" (they are from my former marriage), his response "take them with you".

To give a little more background, we bought the house together a couple months before we married, but we put it in my name solely, mortgage is my name solely, actually all bills are in my name solely (I know, stupid stupid stupid), but at the time due to his credit issues, it seemed the best thing to do.

So here, all bills and mortgage are in my name, so obviously I wouldn't move out and be stuck with paying mortgage, plus rent, completely impossible.

So, now, instead of him acting like an adult and either deciding to straighten up or deciding to move out, he's digging in his heels, so I will at some point have to go to court and get an order granting me possession of the house. grrrr.

Thanks for listening, I hope this road doesn't become too long or too hard.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Eternal Optimist:
<strong> So, now, instead of him acting like an adult and either deciding to straighten up or deciding to move out, he's digging in his heels, so I will at some point have to go to court and get an order granting me possession of the house. grrrr.

Thanks for listening, I hope this road doesn't become too long or too hard. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, make it sooner rather than later.

He's an alcoholic. He's not going to act like an adult because he doesn't know how. It will be hard to go to court and deal with all this, but it will be even harder living in the same house with him after he reneged on his agreement to go to counseling and cut back on his drinking. (Not that it is likely he can "cut back". He's an addict.)

No matter how long or hard the road seems, it leads to peace of mind for you and your kids, something you don't have now. Keep us posted, cause we care.

Hi- I was in a similar spot of wanting my H to move out of the house when he kept going back and forth between me and OW. I refused to move because our kids were in school at the time and also its favorable legally to not leave as it could be considered abandonment in terms of getting child custody.( H and I were separated but H moved back in when he realized this and then refused to move out again but was driving me insane!) I found out from my lawyer that he could do some paperwork to FORCE H off the couch- I was just about to do that when H filed and then changed his mind and we reconciled. However had we not I would definitely have had my attorney do the paperwork to get him out of the house. We live in Ohio. Have you checked on what you an do legally? I got a free phone consultation and found out the names of several good lawyers from an attorney who went to my church. Good luck! lifeismessy

EO:

What Elspeth said. Believe it. I lived it. There is NO chance with an active alcoholic. It is all about them.

If he wants you he will "earn" you. And protect the innocents. Please go to the Al-anon and AA websites. YOu can really help yourself by going to Al-anon meetings as well.

Best to you!