My husband had an affair in March of 2002, and we have been in counesling since before then and continue to go now. We have been really working on our communication skills and in being honest and open with one another. I still have a lot of anger and hurt inside of me due to the affair, and in all honesty due to our relationship in general and the way it has always been, even before the affair. We have been up and down throughout the past two years, and on the verge of divorce twice.

I care about him, but I don't feel like I love him. I don't want him to kiss me or to touch me, and I don't look forward to him coming home from work each day. I feel very trapped and alone. I think constantly about leaving him and being on my own. We have two children: 3.5 years old and two months old. I am so lost. I feel pressured by him to feel what I don't feel, and to resume things as normal.

I know that I am a conflict avoider, which is probably why I haven't been brutally honest with him about the depth of my feelings. I have no idea what to do. I can't imagine living my life this way. I am only 30 years old and it scares me to feel so trapped now. What will it be like in ten or twenty more years? I don't want to damage my children emotionally by leaving or by staying. I feel like either way I go, I will be unhappy.

Does anyone relate to these feelings?

Radical Honesty

Is he meeting your EN's and are you allowing him to meet them?

I think he is trying to meet my EN's. Honestly, I often feel as if I don't want to accept his attempts or want him to try.

Does this mean we are doomed, or how do I make myself be open to him when I don't feel it.