Never posted before...been lurking for awhile. How do you go on...living day in/out with your spouse when they can't decide? My husband of 13yrs (march will be 14)father of 3 boys, been having serious medical problems lately has a "really special friend". This female belongs to a volunteer group with us and for the past yr this has been going on. They have been talking to each other 3 - 4 x's a weeks but never when I am home. They were discussing everything kids, volunteering, and our marriage. At the volunteer events, at least once a week they spoke to each other- politely wouldn't have know they were so close. I have spoken to her and told her we need to work on our marriage with a differnt counsler...she needs to stay out of it. She has called again - to see how his health tests went(the one counsling session together he had promised no more contact with her). Me and my husband work opposite shifts, I'm home during the day he is home in the evenings. So...we started seeing a counsler - going seperately right now, she feels there is to much anger for us to meet together. I gave him 3 weeks to decide if he wanted to work on our marriage 7 days to go. We have been intament he would not move out or out of the bedroom. What am I to do? I can't act like nothing is wrong.. I have too many questions on why didn't he talk to be about these "problems" ect but I'm having trouble pretending everything is ok...by the way this is the second "special friend" he has had in 3yrs....any ideas?