I am so tired of his selfishness, of his total lack of resepct. I am tired of worrying about what he is going to say next or do next. I can't stand it!
I saw an attorney this week. I told her what he has agreed to so far in terms of the house, the land, the cars, the bills. she agrees with me that his guilt is a powerfull motivator right now.
That he will probably sign the papers giving me everything he has agreed to as long as I act quickly. But if I wait another 6 months he will not feel so gulity, and the deal will likely change. Is that what I have come to? File quickly to get what I want? Certainly he has not given me any consideration lately.
I always thought that once the papers were filed we would have a 90 day waiting peiod. I figured that filing the papers were one step closer to the end, but not quite the end, as we would have 90 days to change our minds. Turns out that we can both sign a waiver, which my attorney advises me to do, which will waive the 90 day period, making divorce final right away. How can 18 years of marriage go away so quickly?
But ultimately, I do believe this is where we are headed. The paper work is just the final way to protect myself and my boys. OW is all ready getting tired of being broke. Things will only get worse after the divorce - as he is not even paying child support yet. Once that starts she may have to paint her own nails.
Any thoughts?
Hoenstly, I am just sick of his crap.

18 years will never go away. That is done, set in stone, forever.

The future can and does shift. Divorce is a bigger shift, and usually a last resort type shift. But it does not annul, annihilate or even ameiliorate the past.

Recently we've had two divorced people here contemplate remarrying their ex's. One did. If you need to get the best possible settlement because you've been out of the workforce, you need to consider that aspect.

If you are employeed, and can make ends meet, maybe it would be okay to risk not getting everything you want.

Only you will know what's best.

Good luck to you.

womenoffaith5, I'm sorry to hear that you're at that point. It is heart wrenching to come to the realization that it may never turn around. It is possible that I'm at this point also. My WH will be moving out in a short while.

gg,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Recently we've had two divorced people here contemplate remarrying their ex's. One did. If you need to get the best possible settlement because you've been out of the workforce, you need to consider that aspect.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have been out of the workforce for 8 years and don't want to go back into my old career. What do you mean by, "you need to consider that aspect?" Could you please elaborate? Are you referring to divorce settlement?

from what i have come to learn, more and more couples are re-marrying their ex's.
If there can be an open mind, it actually makes more sense, to start over with your current partner. "Its really never to late!"

More and more lawyers are even suggesting other alternatives, opposed to divorce. There will always be those attorneys who are in need of the almighty dollar,,,

If any of you would really rather try recovering your marriage, try visiting www.marriagesavers.org
There is a program called retrouvaille. They are saving 4 out of 5 marriages. Including those with infidelity, alcohol and physical abuse. Even when one spouse has hate/resentment!for the other in as little as three days!

"Its never to late!!"

WOF5,

Sorry you are here and at this point, but I would take your attorney's advice and get WH to sign quickly. I agree that he may change his mind as time goes on.

My H left 6/02 and I counseled w/att but never retained one. At the time H was more agreeable than he is now. And I've wasted another year. As time goes on, OW will push for more and WH will rewrite the marriage history to justify him getting more and giving you less. Act now. Good luck.