Where do I start? I have only recently become aware of some painful news of my wife's past. What i have learned is that 20 years ago when we were dating, only a small protion of the truth of her past was told to me. I think that I can deal with the new revelations in time, however, I do not know how to learn to believe her again. The original lies have been clung to over our 20 year relationship, never waivering, always sincere, and never doubted by me. I feel like a royal fool for believing and being deceived for so long. I am reluctant to believe anything or to place my trust in her again.<BR>Only recently, with the event of her 20 year high school reunion, several painful truths came out, like a sexual relationship that she kept hidden which resulted in an abortion.<BR>I have given only a little bit of the history, yet perhaps enough to reveal that my heart has been broken and my trust shattered.<BR>I listen to her every word, looking for evidence that she is now being honest. I feel pretty small for even asking the question that i am about to ask, but it is one area that continues to trouble me. I want to believe her. I want to believe that she is being honest now. But, from my experience and knowledge of men, this just seems impossible to believe.<BR>So here goes. She has now offered to reveal many things from the past, and one statement that she made just seems totally impossible for me. She is really concerned with what i think about her, and I think that is what led her to make this claim, not that it is actually true. She says that though she had sex with four different partners and 3 other men had their hands on her, none of them ever kissed her breasts. I think that is totally impossible to believe. Tell me, from your experience, do you think this is possible? I cannot imagine any guy going so far and neglecting such a ripe opportunity. Should I believe her?

I think she is trying to spare you pain, and you should let her. I'll bet that is one of your favourite things to do, and she knows it, and she enjoys it, and it is SO part of sex for you. <P>These other guys happened so long ago, when she was not a wife and a mother. Why should it bother you? Did you share every little detail of your past with her?<P>I once told my h a whopper about the others I had been with,and I don't know if h ever believed it. But, he didn't dwell on it, and it didn't interfere with our present. Please don't let this eat at you, it was twenty years ago!!!

Thank you for your response. I am not wanting to dwell on her past, I did not ask her this question, it was information offered to me. What I am looking for is not whether or not anyone ever did this but whether or not she is being honest with me now.<BR>I have been given a great many lies, lies that hurt deeply. Now I am looking to discover if she has a commitment to being truthful with me and not a continued commitment to deceiving me.<BR>I raise the question about her saying no one has ever done this because it seems totally unlikely to me. I just want honesty, and I do not want to be a naive fool any longer. It is not the kissing of her breasts that I want to know about, it is whether or not she is being truthful now. Thanks