Hi. I have a complicated situation, I posted this on familylife.com and the people on that forum have helped me very much- if you want to read all of what i have been writing to them to get the whole thing, the subject is "Thought I do would be forever?"<BR> My marriage with my husband has been for 3 years, and it has been a very very rocky one. We went to a familylife conference a few years ago and also went to I STILL DO a year ago. Been to marriage counseling , read self help books, prayed, went to church, pastors, did everything within me that I could, and still, the marriage is so much worse now then it was then. My question is when do you know when enough is enough??<BR>I know that is vague, probably too vague for anyone to know what I am going through. Let me just say that I believe in god very much, always thought myself to be so very moral and before anyone judges, just know that things can happen before you even realize what you are doing. Never in a million years did I think what I am going through would happen to me.<BR>My husband has serious responsiblity issues. He has problems, ever since we have been togehter of keeping his word. He has lied to me, made all sorts of stories to AVOID CONFRONTATION. He tells me (he has lied like 4 big lies in 3 years) that he has lied becasue he did not want me to yell at him. Which I think is a 2 year old response! We were even going to marriage counseling when I found out he was lying to me. He has never cheated on me, so I dont want anyone to think that. Lies about life stuff. Its not even about WHAT THE LIE IS ABOUT, but it is that he could sit here for 1 month- 6 months and make up all these stories, and not have a problem. After the first few lies, that really went deep, but then when we were in counseling and I found out, it was kind of like , what can I do to get this better?BEcause no matter what I do or say, he doesnt change.<BR>I realized in counseling unless he changes, and tries to make us better, it wont change. Recently I found myself makeing a mess out of a mess, if that makes sense!<BR>Things have been a big mess, fight all the time, cause no matter what he says I JUST CANT BELIEVE HIM. NOTHING. I have come to the point I cant respect him at ALL, cant like him that much, only a few things, trying to grow off of that.<BR>I went camping a month ago, this is when I made a mess- my parents/sister/her kids- and a family friend. The family friend and I are 10 years apart, I am younger. We loved each other in high school, and we ended up having an affair while I was camping for a whole week. So this is just a big mess. So I mustered the nerve to tell hubby, and he was hurt of course, but usually the "victim" is the person who is being cheated on- and he is, but i still feel the victim because of everything he has done. I know I did wrong. We have considered seperating. I just dont want to do that, I am trying so hard to stay. Any replies would be appreciated. How do you know whatto do? How can I trust him again? I have tried and tried. What do I do. I know I am young, still have my life ahead, I feel so different, just 3 years ago! I am only 23 and he just turned 30- my husband. Thanks and I hope I have not offended anyone on the content<BR>SweetEEyore <BR>