I have been watching this site and reading Dr. Harley's books for a month now. Every since August 12th, when my wife anounced that she wanted to seperate. We have been married for 27 years and for the most part is has been difficult. <P>The first year and a half of our marriage was pure pleasure with our new born son. While we were waiting for our secons child to be born we began to have difficulties.I became involved with another girl and in a month became convinced I<BR>married the wrong person. I was seriously thinking about leaving my wife. My daughter convinced me that this was not what I really wanted, on the day I watched her birth. This was an emotionally devistating time for both me and my wife. I confessed to her and appoligised, from my heart and we went on with our lives. <P>Having readsome of Dr. Harley's books I can see all the mistakes I have made over the years. I have made my wife suffer and I have suffred as wellin an unhappy marriage. We have seperated for a while three times, but each time we got back together and tried to work it out with counseling<BR>but that never seemed to work very well. <P>If we had found Dr. Harley 24 years ago we wouldn't be in this mess now. To shorten this story up a little, Now that our children are grown, she has become very independant in all areas of her life. We have been emotionally seperated <BR>for years and although I have wanted to approach her with my desire to make some changes I didn't. She has lost 2 very close family members in the last couple years. Her only sister and her Father in March.<P>She was devistated and Unresponsive to any emotional support I tried to offer her. I thought she was going through a period of grief and decided to postpone any discussions about our marriage. <P>She also suffers from MS Multiple Sclerosis, and does take different types of medication for that.<P>She works at a job that requires anywhere from 10 to 14 hours work. Customer service so she stays on her feet most of that time. Anyway, four weeks ago she told me she wanted to seperate. She said "it's not because of the way I feel, I just need to get away from you for a while".<P>She won't say the words, I don't Love you. She says she does not want a divorce. She says "I just want to live seperated from you".<P>Money isn't really an issue. We have always gotten by ok, That's all. My income level trippled one week before her announcement. Although she hadn't yet heard about it when she told me. <P>Her now widowed mother wanted to sell their house and move into something smaller and offered to Buy a house for us and her live with us. I thought this is a very good idea since her mother is approaching 80. We have been renting for all of our 27 years of marriage. But my wife wants to go with this arrangement, but without me. <P>We are still living together but in a month she will probably have closed a house deal and will be moving out. <P>I am having the most difficult time of my life right now with all of this. She is putting great effort into making me feel she has no feelings for me, even though she won't come out and say it. My days are a roller coaster ride and I am barely coping. <P>My new career situation was from my taking over the retail <BR>business where I have worked for the last 7 years. I can barely concentrate on running the business. Our combined income is sufficient to support one household, but two will be difficult for both of us. <P>I know I love her very deeply. I know I have not been the kind of husband she has always wanted. She won't even <BR>look at any of Dr. Harley's books. I know if she did she might share the new hope I have for our relationship. She is showing me a very cold heart. If she would only pull away the curtain she has put up, and open her heart a little. <P>I'm am hurting so much right now I just want to put up a curtain of my own to survive. We are both Christians and, at least I, think divirce is wrong, and that reconciliation is always the best approach. I think she feels this way to. Thats what's so confusing about all of this. On one hand she is giving me every indication she is through with our marriage. One the other are her beliefs, which I share.<P>I would like to here what some of you think about this painful situation I am in and I'm sure my wife is too.<P>Sorry for the long post. <P>I'm just Look'n-for-hope