`This is the thing my wife left me and moved back home. She says it was because we fought to much and its over. I felt this whole time she was running back to her ex lover she had a affair with early in our marriage. I was right one week after she was home i talked to my daughter and she told me how mommy took her and her sister over to this guys house. I did'nt say much i was holding my temper. Now it's been a month and a half and my daughter now tells me how they spend the night at his house and how mommy sleeps in the same bed with this guy. I got really upset at this one a yelled at my wife and she just hung up. Now today when i talkde to her she asked me if i would talk to my daughter and tell her it's ok to like this guy because he is going to be in there life and if i talk to my daughter it will make things better. i said sounds like you guys are together and she says know were just really good friends. I'm not tring to come off stupid I then asked her and i said be honest did you sleep with him she says NO and even if i did it does'nt matter cause it over with us you a chapter in my life that i want to close. Did she sleep with him or not? What do i do abou't the kids? This hurts real bad she acts like there getting married and shes not even divorced yet. I did'nt show one sign of weakness on the phone i waited till i hung up and then lost it. HELP

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TETE:
<strong>Now today when i talkde to her she asked me if i would talk to my daughter and tell her it's ok to like this guy because he is going to be in there life and if i talk to my daughter it will make things better.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tete:

I'm really sorry you're going through this but, I think you should try to stay calm. Easier said then done I know but, it's easier to think and plan when you're calm so please try.

Now, it sounds to me like she's trying to make it easier for herself not the kids. She probably figures if you tell the kids it's OK to like this guy then they won't give her a hard time about it and things will be easier on her.

IMHO, you shouldn't tell the kids anything about this guy, it's not your job to make things better for her (your wife). When you talk to your kids make it about you and them not mom and her friend and if the kids ask put it back on her. In other words make her explain to the kids why this guy is in their life and what's going on.

It's not fair for her to put you in the middle of this, it was her choice to leave you and how dare she ask you to make it OK for her to practically live with this guy when she is still married to you.

It sounds to me as if she feels she has the right to expose your kids to some other guy just because she left you but, in reality she's still married and what she is doing is wrong.

If I were you I would get a good lawyer and look into what you can do as far as her dragging your kids around to another man's home.

Good luck to you!

TOT