It has been a long time of me trying and still being nice to my WS even after she has been living on her own now for about 16 months now. My WS had me served papers back in September. I have been real nice to my WS even after all that I have been put through. I still was very nice to her but in the last three weeks or so I am tired of being nice. My WS in the last year plus has never contacted me to say hi or to see how I am doing. She says she cares about me and never meant to hurt me however I never hear a peep from her unless she needs something. It has gotten really bad in the past two or three weeks because she has been calling and saying she needs me to take her name off of this bill or that bill. I have sat here and thought why I am still nice to this person who treats me so bad. So I finally have had enough of it all and I wrote my WS an email and told her unless she is contacting me to say hi or to see how I am doing than don’t contact me asking me to do this for her or to do that. Now am I in the wrong for doing this? I finally have had enough and I am just speaking up to someone who just doesn’t care any more. I feel as if I am the baker and I am always making her new cakes for her to eat. How do I handle all of this? I am not going to spoon feed my WS when she hasn’t cared an ounce about me in the last year plus. Personally I think she needs to take care of all of this because this is what she has wanted. I just don’t know how to handle this any more and I feel I am not in the wrong at all…..

Hi cg:

I was wondering about how you were doing. I don't know whether there's any reason 2 think that she's contacting you now, using the bills as an excuse, or whether she is really finished and wants you 2 cooperate with her DV plans. But it sounds like you're tired of it. If that's the case, I think you should get yourself a lawyer or a family mediator 2 help you divide up your assets (and responsibility for the bills), and let the DV proceed.

Is that what you want? If it's what SHE wants, then at some point you should decide whether stalling is helping or hurting your chance at a happy fu2re with someone, if not her.

Many people do reconcile even after DVing, so it's not the end of the world. It might even be the start of it for you.

All my best,
-2long

I have my own lawyer dealing with the divorce portion of everything. I think this is just part of her (WS) divorce plan if you ask me. I think she wants to clean her plate so she can wash her hands and just walk away. I really don't think she is using the bills as an excuse to talk to me. That is my 2 cents on that.
"Is that what you want?" Too be honest I didn't want any of this. I wanted it to work out the true opposite of what it has been to this point. There is a small portion that still wish we could work it out, but than there is that part that is tired of all of it.