i wished that i had found this site a year ago. i got a divorce feb 16 2001 after finding out that my husband was<BR>having an affair with a woman he rides horses with. we were<BR>married for 32 yrs he is disabbled and i worked all the time. i thought we had a good marriage and i have always been very faithful. he is 53 and i am 51. he became very<BR>unsatified telling me he wanted to leave but theree wasn't another woman.i trusted this man with my life.i divorced him<BR>because he broke my heart i lost all the trust and because he doesn't love me aanymore. i have been very loney with<BR>lots of time to read. after reading your information i see<BR>where i went wrong in our marriage. i was so busy trying to<BR>work towards our retirement years that i forgot about his<BR>emotional needs. once he was a very caring person and i do<BR>think he loved me once upon a time. he found what he wasn't getting from me from this other person. he is still with her<BR>there where times i think he wanted to come home but he<BR>would not tell me so.i can never have him back because i can not deal with the pain everytime i look into his eyes and<BR>know he has been with someone else and says that he will love her for the rest of his life. this woman has been married four times had a live in boyfriend that she had a<BR>child by when she was 40 yrs old she also has a 17 yr old <BR>daugther that is severly retared that she had put into a home. i know this is a long story but i am still hurting inside and need to tell my story. he never called or sent<BR>a letter or card he left and never explained anything to me<BR>after 32 yrs of marriage. my question is will there ever<BR>come a time when he will want to come back i need him to beg<BR>me one time where i can say its not my problem now you will<BR>get over it i did. i just need him to beg me once. how can he walk away an forget about me.

I am very sorry for your pain.<P>Really, none of us can tell you what he might do in the future. Many affairs end, and the spouse returns to their partner in time, if the partner has remained open. But since you have already divorced, I suspect that even if he did have second thoughts it would be hard for him to say so. <BR>It does not sound like you want him back anyway, but rather that you want to know that he has not forgotten you; that he feels some remorse. Yes, I think it is safe to say that at some point he will feel some guilt and remorse. <P>The bigger issue for you though should be taking care if yourself. It sounds as if you divorced, but are not really "moving on" emotionally...instead you are worried on whether he feels the way he "should" feel. Let me ask you this. What do you want out of life for YOU at this point?<P>Hugs--<P>Kathi