Told the W last night that I found an apartment and was moving today. The discussion remained relatively civil until she said something that started me out the door last night. When I went to my room to gather the rest of my stuff she went violent. Although she did not make physical contact with ME, she broke 2 pictures, almost broke 2 vases, threw the flowers (plastic) at me, tore up a straw hat decoration and trashed my room. After all that, she sat next to me on the bed and I asked her if she felt better and she said "no, I feel stupid". I put my arm around her and she cried.
Even though we filed for divorce back in Feb 03, she still wants to work things out. We have had numerous discussions about this, went to MC for 1 year, she went to IC for 2 years. I went to IC for 1 1/2 years. She admits she never forgave me (my A) and I cannot forgive her (her A). This divorce should have been done months ago, but our attorneys are reluctant to have our Judge decide the alimony issue (no kids), so her we are.
When I try to discuss and attempt to resolve this with her, we invariably argue and she refuses to decide without consulting her attorney (I know, her right) so here we are. She has already started building a new home and I cannot make any plans until the financial part of this is done.
To avoid any more arguements (sometimes nasty), I decided to leave until this thing is done.
She thinks I am leaving to "party" with my OW and refuses to believe anyhting different. She even thinks I am seeing someone when I'm there!!
Now she is venting (understandable) so I am avoiding her until she cools down. I asked our kids (grown) to provide emotional support for her and to allow her to vent so at least she can get it out of her system. As for me, I'm settling in my 288 sq ft studio appartment waiting for the furniture and cable guy to show up.

I'm sorry she took it badly. But, all things considered, maybe it's best you move out. That may speed up the financial settlement. And it will move everyone along the path.

doogie, just curious as to why BOTH attorneys wouldn't want to let a judge settle the alimony issues? How long have you been married? Do both you and your wife work?

Look at my profile at the bottom. Maybe it was in the stars last night! Uuuugggggggghhhh! I hate this! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ November 05, 2003, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: Suebee ]</small>

doogie where'd ya go?

Suebee-
Honestly, I don't know why we haven't gone to court yet. We had 1 mediation meeting that did not go well. We have been married 31 years. My W got a letter from her attorney stating that she believes that things can be worked out without a trial. Maybe they both want to save us hefty attorney fees.
My W is now going through separation depression. Her Ic told her that me moving out did her a favor, allowing her to deal with the separation anxiety BEFORE she has to move out.
Wife and I both work and I know I have to pay alimony, but we disagree about length and amount. NO minor children involved.