My H and I have been married for 10 years. We have a 6 year old daughter and I'm two months pregnant now. I discovered that he cheated on me 3 years ago. He finally confessed, cried, and said he will never do it again. (typical, right) I never got over it. I never really trusted him anymore. Since that time, I've been constantly suspicious that something is still going on, but not necessarily with that person and I don't know who.<BR>This morning I discovered that a "toy" of ours was missing. This made me emotionally upset. He is also the type of person that would move it, just to make me suspect something. But I still think he's up to something. My H LOVES sex. I do everything he request, but it seems its never enough. <BR>Don't get me wrong, he is a very affectionate person, he says he loves me all the time and shows it constantly, which keeps me totally confused. (He's also very secretive.) <BR>What should I do, I love him so much, my daughter worships him, in her eyes he could do no wrong. But I'm hurting so bad inside. I've prayed and prayed. Any advice? Should I just give up? Should I confront him about it (the missing toy), even though he'll turn it around and say I don't trust him (which I don't) and end up making me feel bad for mentioning it? HELP!!!!<BR>

beyondhurt - It seems like you are beating yourself up over your suspicions (I do this all the time). First, try to be calm and think logically. Why would he have moved the toy? He knows that you would notice. Is this a test? Or is there more? Unless he wants to be caught, or unless he is real stupid, he wouldn't use this toy with another woman -?<P>Your H sounds like mine - always showing affection, but very secretive. This is hard because you never seem to know where you REALLY stand. Why would he test you? This seems cruel. <BR>Maybe instead of talking about this toy you should focus on the real issue of trust and fogiveness. Have you really ever done that? Does he want to be forgiven? Do you understand why he had the previous A? After 10 years of being together, it is obvious he wants to be with you - why not make this marriage what you both wanted it to be instead of dwelling on the past? <BR>Good Luck and I hope your prayers are answered.<BR>

Even though it's been three years since the Affair, it's so hard to erase it from my memory. I keep telling myself that he really does love me, because he shows it all the time. But deep down inside its hard to totally trust him again, because before the Affair he still showed his love and affection for me daily and I he. That's whats so confusing and why I don't understand why the Affair happened. People say with time, a heart will completely heal and that a person can learn to trust again. But that seems impossible to me.