Tomorrow is my MESP hearing. If stbx agrees to terms, tomorrow may also be my final divorce hearing.

I had to pick up an extra quick real estate market analysis tonite at a church members home. They were starting Bible study when I stopped by and most of them had kind words and prayer for me. That about did me in..I was struggling all day with all the memories of the last 28 years...some good, but mostly bad.

I have not seem ex since august..last time I saw him he raised his hands to hit me again and called me most horrible names I have ever heard come out of him. My daughter happened to be right inside back door and heard and saw all, so she is just about done with him.

Pray for me tomorrow that I will be able to hold my ground and not fall apart. I want that part of my life over...no more abused weakling.

I am back in college full time this semester (4.0 so far!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> but now I am coming into the home stretch with final exams and 2 term papers due. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Please pray for that too.

Only God knows my future and why I was put through this test on my very soul but I have survived only with God's help and I am stronger in every way.

Smiles,
Dawn

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

well its over..done deal.

A lot of anger, but not the extreme hurt that I thought would be there. I did my hurting last nite..now its the beginning of a new life.

A better one.

Dont have time to mourn right now. I have a major test tomorrow and fortunately it was pretty quick so now I can concentrate on my test.

Please continue to pray for me and my kids.

Sun---sorry for all your losses but hope your future has the peace and serenity we all deserve. You have many years to put behind you but God will help you heal and make a life that is an inspiration to your children.

Just a little warning----getting involved with another person right now would not be fair to that person. Even though it appears to be the right thing, your emotions are so raw that misjudgements are a huge possibility. You have alot of pain and memories to work through. If this person is the right guy, it will happen in due time and true love can wait its turn.

Don't forget---mourning is your ticket to a healthier life and better relationships in the future. Don't put it off or stuff it down indefinitely.

Ace those tests!!!!!

TW

LOL!!!!!!

I have solved a major problem and it has only been..maybe 10 hours since I have been divorced <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

How to pay my lawyer fees and credit card out of the measly settlement I agreeded to today??????????????????????????????????????


I plan to sell my lawn tractor! That I now own.

Now ex wont want to come over and mow the lawn anymore <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (thats only upkeep he ever did on this property and he had to buy a 5,000$ tractor to do it...everything else I did. I think I can use a regular old lawnmower too and I have 3 boys to help.

I have lawn shed full of all kinds of mowers from my sons lawn service days..what do I need a lawn tractor for?

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

Wow, you really sound like you're doing great! And congratulations on your GPA, selling the tractor, and the relationship. I understand TW's point, but since I'm also in another relationship "too soon," I know it can also help with the healing. And the uncanny coincidences between you and this guy are amazing! Isn't it great to be in a relationship where you aren't called filthy names, threatened, cheated on? Who would've thought we'd have come this far after arriving here completely devastated and afraid not so long ago?

TW,
Hi, thanks for the support!!!

I have been seperated since last OCT..It has been a very searching and painful time, but I did heal very quickly, because I had a lot of help. First of all God, my Pastor and his family, and my wonderful children and friends..and everyone here.

Once I was out from under the abuse, it didnt take long to put my world back in order. I tried to apply MB principles, but it didnt work one sided, he effectually killed all love that I had left for him.

I am not so raw anymore as angry at him, and I know I shouldnt be angry. Its not good for my health and it doesnt matter to him. He is actually just pathetic and I should feel sorry for him, but Im not at that point yet.

Im not even angry that he is gone..I am angry that he is a jerk and he continues to be one. The settlement wasnt fair to me.

My X took 2 loans out from his pension ($6000) first was for DUI legal stuff and second was 4 months after he moved out..

FOR HIS LAWYERS FEES

they subtracted that from his pension and then divided that in half, so basically I paid 3000$ of money due to me for his DUI and his lawyer..when they wouldnt budge and even give me 50cents towards my legal fees. They also didnt give me any credit for 12000$ inheritence I put into house renovations..he got 1/2 that in equity as well. I was not happy but I agreed to get it over with.

I am just comfortable with the fact that behaved the way God would want me to. I did my best in my marriage, and have kept the kids grounded when I was falling apart inside. We all attend church together and have laughed and healed together.


Smiles,
Dawn

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

Hey Dawn,

Sounds like you are doing great and you have so much to proud of!!! Yourself, your boys, your grades!!! I am sorry that you did not do as well as you could with the finacial part of the divorce, but you did what you needed to for yourself and your family!!!!

Take care and keep up the grades!!!! That is so awesome, I am still working at talking to admissions.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />