???

... When you accept it... as part of you...
and a bit of it will stay forever in your heart and soul... but won't be hurting anymore... as a part of your past, as a part of yourself...

When you grow and begin healing, and finally learn to let go - realizing that letting go offers you a freedom which eventually opens new doors.

Belonging to Nowhere and newly,
Thank you for the support. Rough night last night and not much better of a day today.

Still wishing all the time

Hey wish i were home,,
from what i've read, for some it goes away rather quick, some in time, where for others, it never goes away. They only learn to "live" with it,
For myself, its been nine months now,, and it still doesn't feel good!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by WishI WereHome:
<strong> Belonging to Nowhere and newly,
Thank you for the support. Rough night last night and not much better of a day today.

Still wishing all the time </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dear Wishing! May I say this as lovingly and gently as I possibly can in a cold harsh email vs face to face with my arm around you to comfort you and affirm you as a person of worth!

Your very handle with "wishing" in it ... followed by your ending phrase, "still wishing all the time" -- tells me volumes.

Wishing in and of itself doesn't really get any of us anywhere good. The only good a wish does is provide the initial spark for the journey...the first idea that motivates into ACTION!!!

Translated? You cannot WISH pain away, ever! You have to take ACTION to put pain in it's place as the others have so well said.

That ACTION involves many things as set forth here in MB. So embrace your pain. Embrace your wish for relief from pain. But then develop an ACTION plan to overcome the obstacle of pain and implement it ASAP!!!

Wishes are great! But only to start us down the right path. Remember the old saying -- if wishes were horses, beggars would ride?

High Flight
I understand what you are saying and there are actions behind my wishes. If there were not, I wouldn't be on MB.
I know that I cannot wish pain away but what I do ultimately wish for would help the pain go away. That is to be back in a loving home where I feel I belong.

While MB helped my a great deal in dealing with the separation and learning ways which might have improved my M, it didn't work in my case.

My local separated/divorced support group provided the human interaction I needed at the roughest time and people who really understood what I was going through. Please try to find a DSG (divorce support group) in your area. They are priceless.

It's almost 2 years later for me, and I'm still dealing with the effects, and still don't feel fully 100% at work - and my issues are resolved. This is a major crisis, you are grieving a marriage. There are many great books out there to help. Try the Fresh Start Divorce REcovery Book and also buy the small book, How to Survive the Loss of a Love. I found these to be helpful.

Good Luck.

newly
I am going to IC, Was MC till W stopped going. But I don't think I am ready for support on getting through the D just yet. The idea of that still scares me. I know I need to better myself but I don't want to "Move on" to do that. Nothing has moved toward D since W said that she wanted it so I am still hanging to the hope that things will change for now. I realize that it may make things harded in the long run and may make the hurt drag on but that hope has been getting me thru the day so far.
W is going to a support group and she says that she feels like she is on the wrong side Most others there are BS. She also says that at time she sees in them, what I must be going through.