What are the chances of a person who betrayed their spouse to ever have a meaningful relationship down the road?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by All Alone Again:
<strong> What are the chances of a person who betrayed their spouse to ever have a meaningful relationship down the road? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Everything depends.

How about some more details
You,
BS,
how long affair lasted,
how many chances you got to end it and didn't,
how many affairs,
how long ago it ended
marital situation,
etc, etc, etc,you know, stuff like that.

I have not posted in quite some time, instead been reading alot of the threads here.
In a nut shell:
Married 9 years with two kids (ages 8 & 4)
Affair happened 11 months ago, met guy through phone conversion and via email.
WW took our kids with her to have affair.
she has been back a few times, wanted to try and work it out, but was not sincere about wanting to fix it.
Left again a month ago, and back to OM whom she says she is in love with and needs her.
Final divorce hearing set for thursday, agreement already signed, with me having the kids.
As for my wife, I still love her, but thanks to the many stories and sincere opinions from this site, it has truly help me regain my own sense of inner strength and to focus on me and my children.
My WW is looking for her happiness, and true love and I really hope she finds it. That is why I asked the question

All Alone,
Its hard to say, unless she has undergone healing and the "fog" has fully left her.

My x has been divorced for over a year now and as far as I know she isn't seeing anyone(the kids haven't said anything anyhow) and she takes the kids when she is off work.

I think she is almost out of the fog. She still says some strange things, but she is back about 270 degrees from when I knew her.

She is on anti-dep and htey seem to help her. She really doesn't have any friends as she burnt a lot of bridges.

All alone again. Many wayward spouses, burnt many bridges and will bear the circumstances with their actions. My xhusband, Wayward spouse didn't have hardly any friends before the affair. And now, he really doesn't have any friends. The one friend that he had, only saw him occasionally, doesn't feel good about what he did.

Your wife, seems to be running back and forth, cause she fell in (foggy love) while married to you. She has burnt many peoples heart, and I would speculate that she doesn't have friends. You are still her friend, but she doesn't want to give up this euphoria of this other man wanting her and needing her. Just like many wayward spouses. If she could read in the future what their future would be like, she would drop this man in a hat. There are sooo.... many marriages or living together built out of lust and deceit. They don't last, they won't last. Satan is what is keeping them together.

Her happiness won't last, and the statistics show. She will be unhappy, and wonder why she left you and put the kids through all of this. I am waiting for the day that my x will see what he put all of us through, myself and my 4 children through, and the pain that has happened to the family. God will show him one day, when he is ready to give his heart to the Lord. Until then, he will recite his denial, his justification, his euphoria of an affair as meant to be.

Be happy with yourself, and you get the kids. Be a wonderful daddy, and your children are so young. As far as dating, I wouldn't. Your children are your focus, as well as your job. Like myself, I have to want to date, just to get my life in order. If someone should come along, great, if not great. So much for you to do, and to keep yourself and your children safe. Good luck, and God bless you and your family.

AAA

I don't know much about you or your sitch but from you post about hoping your W find happiness and the fact that you have custody of you kids and that you cared enough to take her back mulitple times, I would think I am safe in judging you to be a good man, a good father and probably a decent if not perfect husband. Possibly you didn't meet all your W emotional needs, but cared enough to come to the MB site to try to save your marriage.

On the other hand your W has done things that make me question her character and integrity. She seems to be weak willed, lacking the strength to make her marriage work. She seems self centered, thinking of her own happiness at the expense of you and your children. Lacks in judgement to bring your kids to OM so she could have her emotional need met. She also seems self-centered because, she cared only for her own happiness and not the incredible pain she was causing you. She was able to ignore it enough to 'fall in love' (tongue in cheek).

Now the OM. He hasn't the decency to consider your feelings or her eventual problems resulting from the affair and the busting up of her marriage. He only cared about his own satisfaction. What kind of person is that?

Putting this all together, I don't see how their relationship will last, built on lies, poor character, lust and a total disregard for anyone but themselves, including all the pain and disruption to your childrens lives. PLUS they have cheated and can't be trusted. Who knows that better than they do. Then there is the mysery your W may feel once the the passion dies down and she sees what pain and damage she has done to her family, who trusted and loved her just for herself. There can be no real love between them. The basis for love is respect. How could they ever respect other?

I think if you wife has a concience, she will carry this burdon with her a very long time and suffer big loss of self esteem that will also be long term.

It is good of you want happiness for your wife, because your love is real. Think about the parable of Solomon and the two women claiming a baby. When Solomon would cut the baby in two giving each woman half, the real mother gave up the baby to save it's life. The false mother didn't care if it was cut in two.

I seriously doubt your wife will find true love with anyone for a long time and then only after she has made peace with her God.

I pray God guides her back to you for there lies true love and happiness for her.

OK, I'm off my soap box. Being a BS, I am rather passionate about the subject of infidelity.