sorry it took me so long to respond....re: Why Does He Do that? (book). Thanks so much! If I had a million dollars.....hee hee...I would buy a whole load of them and send them around the world to women who are having such a hard time dealing with these abusive men.

My many thanks! It's certainly helped on the road to recovery and boy oh boy does it help you pinpoint all the red flags in relationships that you shouldn't be in!

Thanks again!

Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft. This book is being used by First Step. And other counselors. It is a great book to pinpoint these red flags in men that are abusive. Glad you read the book. In the First STep group session I am in, we have 24 women this time, the book was recommended, and it is in paperback now. This author has first base material experience, and what he writes is right on. My xhusband is a controller, just by his book, I see the signs as we were dating. AT that time, I was naive, didn't see a controller, and thought this was being thoughtful to me. Now I see the difference, and any man that I should have contact with in the future, will have to answer some heavy questions. For now, I am okay being by myself, with my children. Lonesome Heart syndrome, we all experience it, and it takes a lot do get these lonesome vibes out of our body.

Lonesome Heart...I think that's who recommended the book! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> As for *lonesome heart*...I think we all experience being lonely at some time or other. I'm ok with it now.

Faith4Me, I've never heard of First Step. Can you give me more details about it? How long have you been apart? divorced? etc...

I guess it has been a long time! What did I say? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Sounds like I recommended bancroft's book, and you're very welcome! faith4me, I'm glad to hear you're reading it too. I almost didn't read it because I was tired of spending time focusing on him, trying to figure out why he acts the way he does. I believe a huge benefit for me is a raised awareness of red flags. If I ever get a 'next time' in a relationship, I feel a lot more confident that I'll make better choices. It would really chap my hide to go through all this just to get abused all over again!