Although my exWS and I have been divorced for a little over a year, we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas together last year. We were working on reconciliation. Well, this year I'm on "no contact" as he continues a relationship with the OW and OC, in spite of saying he wants a life with me. (The OC I can accept! Not the OW!)So, it's really my first year alone dealing with the holidays. Help! I have no extended family to get together with. They live out of state. My two sons, ages 17 and 20, will spend the majority of the day with their father's extended family. (Which I am genuinely glad that they are able to do.)I don't want to "forget myself" and serve others at a soup kitchen because I work with the poor as a social worker day in and day out.

The best I can come up with right now is to just try and view the day as just another day. That it won't necessarily always be this way in future years.

How about it? What are some of the ways you've thought up to handle the holidays this year? Let's at least be here for each other!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> lilymarie said: The best I can come up with right now is to just try and view the day as just another day. That it won't necessarily always be this way in future years. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You're right in that it won't always be like this. But I'll be honest, if you view the day as "just another day" you'll be setting yourself up for depression.

The best advice I received was in a post last Christmas. Basically it was to do everything as you have always done - make the cookies, put up the tree and lights, send cards as best you can, etc... in other words, don't "do nothing" because if that happens, then you will be letting the situation win over you! Do you have friends who have been supportive of you over the last year? If so, hang out with them. (Invite yourself if you have to - just don't spend all day alone!) Even if you're just "going through the motions" it will be helpful to get over this "hump" of your first holiday which will be different.

<small>[ November 18, 2003, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lilymarie:
<strong> So, it's really my first year alone dealing with the holidays. Help! I have no extended family to get together with. They live out of state.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">lilymarie,
we will always be here for you. I was just wondering how close you are to the out of state relatives and if they are within a few days driving distance. You think if you called them and told them you were going to be alone, they might get the hint and invite you to visit? If not, it might be nice to just talk to some of them on the phone.