It's been awhile since I been on here. Here is a little info first.
1. Married my 2nd husband 3 times.
2. We have divorced 3 times last time 7/28/03. I did not want the divorce.
3. I lost my job in June of 2003.
4. Have narcolepsy and am hypothyroid (no insurance still)
5. Ex-husband said I can stay in the house until I find work and a place to live.
6. Moved in with a roomate because I could not deal with watching my ex go out every weekend drinking and dancing at the clubs.
7. Roomate had to put his home up for sale unexpectedly to move in with his parents to take care of them.
8. With nowhere to go, ex talked me into comming back to the house until I get back on my feet.
9. My car was hit again today and may be totalled. I also owe more than it's worth.
10. After ex husb. picks me up from the hospital, he went out with friends to a bar.

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
I hate my life so much. I thought the 3rd time would be a charm. I was going to stick with it no matter how bad it could have gotten. He had to work so hard to reasure me of his love and his promises that we would never divorce again. Told me there was absolutely nothing that could make him stop loving me. Yet here we are divorced for the 3rd time and he only loves me like one of his good friends. Only he will have sex with me if I allow, but wants nothing else. I keep the house picked up and do everything to make him happy, but he says he can't love me the way he used to again and just wants to sell the house and get a 1 brdm apartment and live a single life.

He still goes out to bars and it kills me. He will go shopping with me but I cannot go out with him on the weekends. Says he did not divorce me to still go out together. I feel his love for me could never have been real. I do not feel that if you have true love for someone that it can die unless one was unfaithful. You may not like each other everyday, but true love doesn't die. He doesn't agree though. By the way infidelity was not the reason for his divorce.

Unless I go to a shelter (I have no relatives I would or could move with), I have to stay here. When I was at my short term roomates house, I would still think about what my ex was doing and was still hurt by his decissions, but I could cope better. I didn't have to watch him come and go, and since I didn't see him I would not sit and yearn for him to hug me or tell me he loved me. I can't get a roomate now, my unemployment is about to run out and no luck with my job hunting thus far. I am scared. I feel like I need heavy duty counseling and I don't have insurance or the money. I feel guilty because I am constantly hating my life and wishing I could just die. I know God gave me this life and a lot of what I am going through is my own fault. If I had only lived by his word.

I keep thinking he will love me again since I am able now to keep up with the house and doing nice things for him. But he just says he appreciates it but wants no relationship with me. I know in my heart it's really over, but I can't give up hope while I am still in the same house and it's way to hard to live here like we are friends or roomates. So now I am just sitting here crying my eyes out wishing the hurt would stop. I wish I didn't love him. Also I have no friends to go do anything with. My closest friends only like to go gambling and I have gotten it trouble with that before and need to stay away from the casinos.

Can anyone help, sugesstions please. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Don't laugh - Narcolepsy IS a DISABLING IMPAIRMENT that is recognized by Social Security. I currently have Narcolepsy and Social Security immediately recognized it. My UI was running out as well. You need to get down to the nearest SS Office ASAP and file your Disability Claim. Did you pass out when you had that wreck? Folks with Narcolepsy are not supposed to drive - I lost my licence when I passed out and plowed into another car on my way to work a few years ago. Nobody will insure me, let alone get a driver licence now.
This happened to me back in '97. I know that realizing you are disabled is NOT easy. But it is something you have to come to terms to and deal with.
Once you get SS - you will go thru a 'Ongoing Review' every 3 years or so. I hope you have Doctor's Records to back up your claim.
Check into it.
Visit www.ssa.gov for more help.
Just a suggestion, based on my past experience.
Hope it helps you.
Harold
One other thing: you need to give the date you became disabled with Narcolepsy. You will get paid back-pay retro to that date provided your claim is approved. Also, after you have been disabled for 2 years on SS, you will then receive Medicare Part A and you can have $54 deducted from your Disability Pay for Medicare Part B. That will help you out a lot.

<small>[ November 22, 2003, 06:44 PM: Message edited by: MaXX (In The Dark Of The Night) ]</small>

Harold
That is great advice! I had also suggested Medicaid, but it sounds like you have the voice of experience in this area. I am glad for E66 's sake you mentioned it!

Thank you AvonDale25. It's not easy realizing you are disabled - so many folks look down on you, etc. Like last night in Wal-Mart, I used the Electric shopping cart - I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - so many folks are so RUDE: cut in front of you, etc. in the aisles. One day, they could be in the same boat and I wonder how they will feel then???
Harold

Max,
I have never passed out. After the wreck I experienced more cataplexy than anything. (My face and arm muscles always go numb during extreme stress), but never a complete collapse. Normally I would be on Dexidrene but I am in the middle of a sleep study involving Provigil and Xyrem. I get sleepy sometimes behind the wheel, but have not fell asleep. Only a couple times when at a red light, and just a few seconds.

I only contacted one attorney and they acted as though I did not have a case because you can take meds for Narcolepsy. I feel I only need disability temporarilly. The type of work I am qualified to do is the same type of work that my dr. suggested I stay away from. Any work that involves sitting for long periods and jobs that are repetitive in nature. I am trying to get my A+ certification and also a certification in personal training. There are many jobs that I am interested but I lack the training or required experience. That is why I wish I could just get temp. disability and some paid training so I find work that keeps me alert and that pays well enough so I am not worried about buying food or clothes when needed. As far as the sleep research, so far I see a huge difference with the Xyrem! Provigil never worked much so I will ask after the study to go back to the Dexedrine. Even though I could fall asleep anytime during the day, at night I had trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. With the Xyrem you are out quick and you sleep sound. I even wake up at the exact same time every morning before the alarm goes off. Also I can make it through 8 hours without napping. But for some reason I still feel exausted after 5pm.

I feel there has to be help out there. I will contact a different attorney to see what they think.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by elswick66:
<strong> Max,
I have never passed out. After the wreck I experienced more cataplexy than anything. (My face and arm muscles always go numb during extreme stress), but never a complete collapse. Normally I would be on Dexidrene but I am in the middle of a sleep study involving Provigil and Xyrem. I get sleepy sometimes behind the wheel, but have not fell asleep. Only a couple times when at a red light, and just a few seconds. *THAT IS ALL IT TAKES, REALLY. BELIEVE ME. MY DOCS CALLED IT 'MICRO-NAPS' AND THAT IS WHAT CAUSED MY WRECK.*

I only contacted one attorney and they acted as though I did not have a case because you can take meds for Narcolepsy. I feel I only need disability temporarilly. The type of work I am qualified to do is the same type of work that my dr. suggested I stay away from. Any work that involves sitting for long periods and jobs that are repetitive in nature. I am trying to get my A+ certification and also a certification in personal training. There are many jobs that I am interested but I lack the training or required experience. That is why I wish I could just get temp. disability and some paid training so I find work that keeps me alert and that pays well enough so I am not worried about buying food or clothes when needed. *WHAT THE ATTORNEYS AND SOCIAL SECURITY ARE GOING TO PAY YOU FOR IS THE INABILITY TO WORK AT ALL. I HAVE THAT PROBLEM, AND EVEN AFTER I BEGAN RECEIVING SS DISABILITY, I TRIED FOR A FEW JOBS - NOBODY WAS INTERESTED, IE: CHEMICAL SENSITIVITY, NARCOLEPSY, FATIGUE, ETC. SO I GAVE UP ON EVER OBTAINING EMPLOYMENT AGAIN. I BELIEVE SS FEELS THE SAME WAY - THEY TOLD ME LAST YEAR THAT THEY WOULD 'PERIODICALLY REVIEW MY CASE EVERY 7 YEARS OR SO' -- AND THAT IS ONLY FOR THE WORST CASES IN THEIR BOOK* As far as the sleep research, so far I see a huge difference with the Xyrem! Provigil never worked much so I will ask after the study to go back to the Dexedrine. Even though I could fall asleep anytime during the day, at night I had trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. With the Xyrem you are out quick and you sleep sound. I even wake up at the exact same time every morning before the alarm goes off. Also I can make it through 8 hours without napping. But for some reason I still feel exausted after 5pm.

I feel there has to be help out there. I will contact a different attorney to see what they think. *THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT - THERE ARE DIFFERENT ATTORNEYS OUT THERE WITH DIFFERING LEVELS OF EXPERIENCE AND ONE ATTORNEY DOES NOT MAKE THE ENTIRE CASE. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I do hope you get the help you need. Have you tried your State Unemployment Office? They have special programs, Rehab, and lots of other ways to help - like changing careers, etc.
I wish you the best of luck! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Harold